Lost and Found
by VorikSpockTParaSebastian
Summary: What would have happened if the crew had never found that Borg transport site? Where would they be now? Will Vorik always be alone? And will a new character be able to get them home before they're all old? Notice: Contains VorikxOC, JanewayxChakotay, and B'elannaxTom Maybe M for later chapters...
1. Intro

Lost and Found

Author's notes;

This is my own alternate Voyager timeline. The year is 2379. They were still far from Earth when this takes place. Birthdates had to be changed a bit for accuracy, my weakness. B'elanna was born in 2352, Tom in 2350, Harry in 2354, Janeway in 2341, Chakotay in 2339, Vorik still in 2350. Ha-ha, I'm not telling you when Tuvok was born. ;) And PS to all of you who are wondering why I put this, its because I get a lot of messages like this one;

"HEY! He couldn't be that old because blahblahblah! You're stupid!"

So no more!

Also, no Borg kiddos other than Icheb and no MIDAS array, so no contact from the alpha quadrant other than that one time with the alien array. And Neelix never left them, but Kess still did. I never liked her.

B'elanna and Tom did get married, but no kid, she miscarried and they haven't been able to get preggers again.

And for those of you who don't know;

Military hours- If the number is larger than 1259, then subtract 1200 and you have what time it is. Bravo.

POV- stands for point of view, but just telling you it'll probably mostly be in Narrator's POV. Maybe. Not sure yet.

Star date and Vulcan- They're all accurate, so just find a converter on Google, if you're that OCD.

Also, no Yuri, but maybe a Yaoi, no inappropriate mpregs either. If you don't know what this means, don't look it up. This is a romance, so might be a little M for later chapters. You have issue? Review! Just saying, reviews get things done.

And to avoid any unsightly lawsuits, here:

I DON'T OWN STAR TREK OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS OR SONGS MENTIONED IN THIS STORY. I WISH. I ALSO DON'T OWN ANY OF THE SONGS THAT MAY BE USED IN THIS STORY!

I do own Lieutenant T'Para and Baylor, though. So hands off.

Now read my minions! READ!


	2. Chapter 1

NARRATORS POV

The small shuttle had been travelling at warp four through the delta quadrant for a week now. It had been going at warp six before, its top speed. It had been doing that for two weeks. But, then the port nacelle had finally given up, but was compensated for as much as possible.

It all had started as a rescue mission. Completely safe, if you weren't counting the extremely dangerous and experimental piece of technology they were using.

Now the shuttle was in pieces. There was nothing left to eat except emergency rations, the replicator was off-line. Just MREs and energy bars.

_Whatever idiot packed this emergency pack seemed to have forgotten one key thing; water. _Thought the shuttle's only survivor.

Sensors were at minimum. At least propulsion was still working… for now... kind of. The ship had a moderate power leakage that was slowly draining their systems. They, well rather she I guess, wouldn't last long like this.

Life support had been failing for a few days now as power kept having to be diverted in order to maintain the shuttle's speed and course. Lieutenant T'Para diverted the power from the phaser banks to maintain the stasis field around her dead co-pilot, a Lieutenant Baylor. She was only having a little difficulty breathing as the air grew thinner and oxygen was spent. She was used to thin, dry air after all, having grown up mostly on Vulcan.

Lieutenant Baylor had died a week after their arrival from internal bleeding. With all of her medical skills and knowledge, without the necessary tools, there was nothing she could do. She had watched him slowly go downhill until he hit the insanity, then finally death. Her logic struggled in an inner conflict with her human half for only the hundredth time.

_I don't need to be so strong. No one is here except me now._

_And Baylor's lifeless corpse...Baylor..._

_No! I will not play the pity game! It is for those who are weak and controlled by their emotions!_

_ Why not? I'm alone, and I've lost a friend. I need to release some of this emotion, or it will grow in me and I will become a feral slave to it! _

Her human side and Vulcan side continued this banter as she completed the power transfer that kept her friend from degrading. She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, and stood, giving one more glance to hear deceased comrade.

She walked across the small ship in just a few strides, and then sat down at the com, trying to take slow breaths and not pass out. Her inner conflict continued as her human side blabbed on.

_Just look at him! Nicholas is dead! He was young and handsome! His fiancée is waiting for him right now back at the star base! I promised Leanna, another of my friends and the love of Nick's faded life, that I'd have him back, safe and sound, in time for their wedding! I was to be one of her bridesmaids! I helped them plan it all! _

_Shut up, just shut up!_

_I knew them before they knew each other! And just look at him now! He's gone, and it's all because I screwed up! What kind of doctor am I? Why did he have to be chosen for this mission? He was young and had his whole life ahead. You aren't even sad about this?! Where's the mourning?_

"Stop it, please," she muttered aloud, now covering her face with her hands, trying to will the pain away. Her human conscious just continued on.

_So many people will miss him. No one will miss me. Father disowned me when I chose the Vulcan way. And since mother is Vulcan, she doesn't experience emotions. And I've always known I'm just a disappointment in her eyes. My friends may miss me, but they'll heal quickly, I'm sure. I'm nothing to cry over._

"No! Lies!" she hissed aloud.

This would all be very confusing to anyone else, but she lived a double life. She was half Vulcan, half human. She often had wars raging in her head between logic and emotion. Logic usually won, so she continued with her inner reasoning.

_I __am__ mourning him. I will miss him and it __is__ my fault, I know that. The tricorder malfunctioned and I did not check to see if it had been damaged before I examined him. I was unable to notice the bleed in his brain until it was much too late. Mother would…will miss me, even if she doesn't show it. Father always loved me, he just didn't come to Vulcan after he and mother divorced-_

Her human side interrupted. _Why did you say mother "will" miss me?_

Her logic continued. _Because I need to accept that there is a 98.6% chance of my death. And, by the way, Nicholas __volunteered__ for this mission as the engineer we needed to make this work. I volunteered, and therefore do not have the right to roll in self-pity. I take full responsibility for what has happened and I do… feel bad. _

Her human half produced no witty retort, only the sweet silence of defeat.

She did not like admitting, even to herself, that she had emotions. If other Vulcans found out, she would be looked down upon and treated as a lesser. She knew her emotions existed and when she was most comfortable, they shone through in a most human way. She seemed almost completely human when she was alone, sometimes humming to herself, or laughing out loud at something she was reading, or… crying when her friend died.

_I am crying, on the inside. My heart weeps for him, a lost friend. _

_Well why don't I cry on the outside too?_

_Because, there is little oxygen left and I am sure he wouldn't have wanted me to die from oxygen deprivation because my breathing became irregular over crying about him. _There was a pause in her mind as the human side thought of a response. When she couldn't come up with one, a white flag was raised.

_Finally, logic wins. _

_Yes, but I'll need time to truly process this later…If there is a later._

She truly was sad and missed him, she was just trained in life and genetically not to show these things. She tilted her head back and meditated and performed an ancient Earth tradition, something Baylor had believed in. She "prayed" for his soul to ascend. She did surprisingly well at remaining calm, too. No random pity fests.

As her painkiller wore off, she was reminded of her injuries. Her flesh was burned in patches from some sort of radiation leakage, mostly on her arms and back. Her clothes, however, were unaffected; hence, one couldn't tell she had burns just by looking at her. She couldn't treat it because internal sensors were blown when it all happened, and the tricorder's battery died. So she had no idea of what sort of radiation was ailing her, and, no, there is no "standard" treatment. One treatment can completely cure one radiation burn, while igniting another.

She reached over to the med kit on the floor and pulled out the last dose of painkillers. She injected herself in the neck with the hypo and waited for it to take effect.

At least her head had stopped pounding as her Vulcan immune system allowed the strong dose of painkiller to take a slight hold. It usually just burned right on through her system, no effect. She tried to keep sitting straight, as to not damage her ribs further, which she thought were at least fractured in two places. She could not get an exact reading even before the tricorder died; it was having none of it.

She had also dislocated her shoulder, which Baylor had helped her put back into place with a sickening crack. Something had not been done right, which was obvious with the odd angle her shoulder was at and the pain that shot down her arm if she moved it.

She suddenly found herself very sleepy. She realized it must be the lack of oxygen in the atmosphere. She struggled to remain conscious long enough to review the last log entry she had made for the captain of Voyager, before life support had to be diverted. She looked it over and found it was satisfactory.

Suddenly, she remembered something! The letters to the crew! She had not checked the database to see if they were damaged along with so many other things.

_Damn! I forgot! Let's see; Naomi Wildman, Commander Chakotay, Lieutenant Baker, Ensign Kim, Lieutenant Ayala, Ensign Brooks, Jenny and Megan Delaney, Ensign Golwat, Ensign Lang, Ensign Macormak and a formal letter to a reformed Borg, Seven of Nine. What? How could that be all? There were 147 people onboard at last count. Now I have one more reason to survive the trip._

She had hand received the majority of the letters and upon meeting the families and friends, they would give her small verbal messages to deliver in person. Her Vulcan memory would allow her to do that; all she had to do was survive. She transferred the remaining letters to the padd in her bag, to prevent further degradation.

The com made a small beeping noise. They're damaged sensors had located the ship a few light years from there. With the last of the power from the phaser banks, she sent a federation distress call. She also left all com channels open, so they could see her and know it was Starfleet people onboard.

She knew she might die before they got there, so she diverted all remaining power from life support and shields to the engines and instructed the computer to fly them at maximum warp to the ship, slowing to impulse when they got close and allow transport onto and from the shuttle. "Warning," the computer droned. "Discontinuing life support could increase radiation leakage to lethal levels."

"I understand. Proceed," she told it.

The lights and the oxygen recycler turned off. She immediately felt the effects. Ah, hypoxia, such fun. She reached into the medkit for the hypo of tri-ox. It was broken and the tri-ox was spilled all over the med kit. She scraped as much of the liquid up as she could and rubbed it on her lips. It should provide her with enough to make it there as it evaporated into her respitory system.

After checking to make sure everything had been done correctly, she could not stand the overwhelming feeling to sleep, and the chair could not support her relaxing muscles. She slid to the floor and into a peaceful state of unconsciousness. Her last thoughts were hopeful that the information they had gathered on how they got here would help her friends on the ship get home faster…


	3. Chapter 2

**Do you like it so far? Please review!**

It was a standard morning on the bridge so far. Voyager had been travelling home for 10 years now and was only already half way back. Tuvok and Harry stood at their tactical posts, Tom sat at the helm. Commander Chakotay was wandering around, getting updates from all of the stations and making small talk.

Harry thought about asking Megan Delaney, a scientist on board, out to dinner. He had been… lonely lately. He shifted to less mature thoughts that were normal for a man of 32 who was single. _10 years with so little action_, he thought.

Tom was thinking about his anniversary with B'elanna was coming up and what would he get her. He also thought of how badly he wanted to be a father now that he was 10 years older. B'elanna was having medical issues now in that department, and obviously adoption wasn't a very available option. He wondered what B'elanna would think about a surrogate mother…

Tuvok was simply going over many equations and ship processes. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered how his family was, but this was no time to do that. He was on duty after all.

Chakotay nervously considered asking the captain to dinner. Though that was a normal occurrence between them, he wondered if he could make it out of the friend-zone if all went well. He prayed to his spirit guide to deliver him his goddess, the only one he loved. He had spoken with his animal/spirit guide the previous night and it had told him that the time to act would soon be upon him. Ugh, his guide could be so vague. How long was soon?

The turbolift came to a halt at the bridge and opened.

Harry announced, "Captain on the bridge!"

"At ease everyone." Captain Janeway ordered, thinking about how Harry was still bucking for a promotion even though it wouldn't mean much on this ship, and everyone relaxed from attention. Janeway sat down in the captain's chair and sighed. Chakotay came over and handed her a cup of coffee before sitting in the chair next to the captains. Janeway smiled softly, murmuring her thanks.

Chakotay beamed back at her and said, "Your welcome. Good morning, Captain."

She smiled a little brighter and said, "Well, good morning Commander. Thanks for the coffee, my replicator and I aren't on speaking terms at the moment. It keeps giving me tea instead of coffee. And its decaf tea. Yuck. Status?" He handed her a padd with a report on ship status while also giving her an oral summary.

"Engineering reports all is running smoothly. B'elanna says we have a good supply of Dilithium crystals for now. Seven reports that there's nothing of interest around here from Astrometrics. The doctor has invited you to, I quote, 'Hurry up and get your routine physical over with because you've been avoiding it for a month now and you're delaying him from completing a crew health analysis!' He also told me that until you do, no caffeine for you. Luckily, I found only your ready room and quarter's replicators were tampered with."

She frowned. Yuck, physicals. And how dare that EMH take her precious coffee!

"That explains it, I hope he knows this means war. Caffeine addicts of the ship unite!" She said with mock enthusiasm and laughed a tiny bit. Chakotay just smiled at her. She frowned a little.

"Very well Chakotay, I'll speak with the doctor. Let's see if I can't avoid it all together. Thank you, Commander." He smiled and sat as she read the more detailed version of ships processes on the padd.

All was smooth and nothing happened for a few hours. Polite "how did you sleep?"and "do you want to eat lunch with me?" were uttered during that time. Harry and Tom discussed their upcoming Captain Proton adventures while Janeway and Chakotay talked about the ship and home.

Tom turned around in his chair. "Captain?"

She put her padd down. "What is it Tom?"

He cleared his throat. "Well, Captain, you know how we had the every-other-month luau last night?"

"Yes, Tom! And may I say it was simply lovely!"

"Well thank you Captain. But what I was thinking is that maybe we could try something else?"

"What did you have in mind, Tom?"

"Well Harry was thinking maybe a Japanese festival and I was thinking maybe renaissance fair or a fancy ballroom?"

The captain considered these ideas. "It sounds fun Tom! But please, no renaissance fair. Bad memories. But definitely yes to the Japanese festival and ball. And maybe you should be doing things like this once a month, not every other. I'm leaving you in charge of this all. Coordinate with Mr. Neelix."

He turned his chair back around, smiling in his victory. "Yes ma'm."

Time continued to crawl on by and things went on as normal.

The captain had just finished making up a creative excuse to avoid her physical for another week, and had run it by Chakotay. He promptly told her that that was "the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard" and that the doctor would probably do a psych-eval on her for it. They laughed together and he tried to help her come up with something more plausible.

All was fine and happy when suddenly, at Harry's station, the console beeped several times in a sensor alert.

"Umm, captain?" he asked nervously, confused by what he was seeing. He couldn't believe his console. She looked over her shoulder at the young man.

"What is it, Ensign?" He pressed a few buttons and answered her tentatively.

"Captain, you're not going to believe this. I've picked up a distress call and a damaged shuttle." Commander Chakotay raised an eyebrow, before commenting.

"Harry, what's so unusual about that?" When things were busy, it was almost an everyday occurrence.

"Well commander, it's a federation distress signal and a federation shuttle!" Harry was almost buzzing with excitement! He was always "mister optimism" when it came to finding faster ways home.

Janeway nearly spit her second cup of coffee, from Chakotay, out on the floor. Chakotay looked at Tuvok questioningly, thinking maybe it was some sort of practical joke. Tuvok pressed a few buttons before nodding and stating "confirmed."

Janeway stood and addressed Tom the way she did when it meant it was go-time. "Mr. Paris, change course to intercept, maximum warp."

"Aye, Captain. Course laid in. Warp 9."

"Time to arrival?"

"Two minutes, ma'm."

She nodded and sat, excited, planning, wondering and suspicious. She turned to the commander.

"A real federation shuttle? Way out here?"

He thought for a moment. "Perhaps a trap laid by one of those telepathic species? It wouldn't be the first time they've read our minds and projected things."

"Go on." She was thinking along the same lines, but wanted to hear it from someone else, namely him.

"Well, say they have a cloaked vessel. They get close, pick at a few of our brains, see we might trust a federation vessel more, create a replica, and rig it to explode when we get close?"

"Maybe, but, that's not really their style."

"Hmm." Was all Chakotay could say.

They discussed little details with Tuvok and Harry, like what kind of state the shuttle was in, and hypothesized many other ideas, some rather ridiculous.

"You know what?" Tom started. "I bet they got to the Delta quadrant the same way we did, pulled through by that alien that was protecting the Ocampans!"

"No way," Harry told him. "There's no way they would get ahead of us in a shuttle only capable of warp 6."

"It doesn't look like a shuttle Harry, its bigger. Its not even in our databases. And, besides, you got any better theories, Einstein?"

"Yeah, I bet a bigger rescue ship came from the alpha quadrant with faster engines and something went wrong. And this shuttle thingy was the only thing that could escape! They probably have the technology to get us home right now."

"Like they'd advance that much in ten years! And if they had, why would the shuttle still only go warp 6?"

"Well maybe it CAN go faster!"

"But you just said it couldn't."

"Well maybe I changed my mind."

They bantered a bit more until Tuvok had had enough of this speculation.

"Ensign Kim, Lieutenant Paris, as appreciated as your optimism is for ship morale, random speculation will achieve nothing. Furthermore, it is most likely a glitch in our sensors." He stated in an almost smug manner, if Vulcans could be smug. Now who was the hypocrite?

Tom spun around in his chair to face the Vulcan man. "Come on, Tuvok. We're just having a little fun."

Tuvok gave his typical, dispassionate, Vulcan stare and stated, "I simply think it would be prudent to remain on task. Also, as Mr. Neelix would say, I do not wish to see 'your hopes crushed.'"

Tom rolled his eyes and spun back to his console, muttering, "I bet you'd like nothing better than that."

Tuvok didn't feel it was necessary to remind Mr. Paris that he was a Vulcan and, therefore, had superior hearing. It could prove useful at times to hear such interesting mutterings.

Harry smiled a little and said, "Nice to know you're looking after us Tuvok." Tuvok simply glanced at Harry with an eyebrow raised, before returning his attention to his console.

"Approaching the shuttle ma'm." Harry stated. He couldn't wait to see what happened.

"Bring us out of warp, let's see it." They followed her instructions with an "aye, aye, captain."

The shuttle appeared before their eyes on the view screen. They could see it was barely trudging closer towards them.

Harry pulled up the identification code and file for the ship from their logs and cross-referenced it with their database. "It's the USS Atlantis, a runabout from star base 229."

"What's a runabout, Ensign?"

"Something introduced a few months after we left. This one was being constructed as we left. They're bigger than a shuttle, faster than a transport. There're two humanoids onboard, but only one life sign, very weak. They're venting plasma and there's a slow, strange radiation leak. Life support is off-line."

"Hail them, Ensign."

"On the view screen, ma'm."

They could see was a young man in a gold uniform in a stasis field on the bed towards the back. But what really got their attention was the young woman, still alive, barely breathing. They couldn't see her face, but, since all had gone eerily silent, they could hear her shallow, raspy gasps. She had cream colored skin and golden brown hair. Harry placed his hands on the transporter controls, ready to rescue this damsel in distress.

Harry continued, sort of stating the obvious. "The man is dead. The woman is still breathing."

The captain stood again, urgently, her eyes now wide with understanding. "Harry, beam them both to sick bay immediately! Tractor the runabout and put it in the shuttle bay. Begin downloading and analyzing its database and repairing it. Tuvok, you're with me." She started towards the turbolift, hitting her com badge.

"Captain?" Harry asked, confounded.

"Those are my orders, Ensign." She said briskly.

Harry began following these orders and Tom helped by engaging the tractor. Chakotay could only think of how his dinner plans would have to wait…

"Janeway to the doctor, prepare for an emergency patient. Janeway out. Chakotay! You've got the bridge," she said over her shoulder. He nodded, understanding.

She and Tuvok virtually ran into the turbolift before Janeway said "sick bay" briskly. The doors swung closed and Janeway stood ram-rod straight. As the turbolift began moving quickly, the Captain took a deep breath, steadying herself.

**Next chapter will probably be mostly in sickbay! Have fun!**


	4. Chapter 3

**Hope you all are enjoying my story so far! I might not be able to post again for a couple of days, I've received a lot of homework lately. But, anyways, enjoy and please review! Just saying', reviews get things done...**

As the turbolift began moving quickly, the Captain took a deep breath and turned to Tuvok.

"Tuvok, please old friend. Am I going crazy, or was that woman on the floor who I thought it was?" Tuvok turned to his captain and simply spoke with a level-head.

"Captain, though I am unsure if I know who _you_ thought it was, I believe your sanity is intact. Due to the shape of the woman's ears, I assume she is at least partially Vulcan. And I know of no other Vulcan without dark hair. I believe that is indeed Holly T'Para."

The captain sighed a sigh of stress and exhaustion. "I'm not sure if I should be happy to see one of my friend or scared for her life!"

"Indeed." Tuvok stated bluntly, but had worry in his eyes. The captain could tell he was also concerned for her well-being.

Janeway tapped her foot impatiently. "Can't this thing go any faster?" She was _this close _to biting her nails. Tuvok placed a patient hand on her shoulder.

The turbolift, finally, stopped and Tuvok and the captain stepped off, rushing in to sick bay. To their right, a young man lay in a "dead-bed", or a casualty stasis bio-bed. But their attention was focused on the doctor, who was frantically running around the bio bed with the young woman on it, going from console to console, tapping furiously. And to think, only moments ago, that he had been recording himself singing.

The captain rushed over and saw it was, indeed, Holly. She was breathing, barely, and shaking and convulsing, her eyes fluttering madly.

"How can we help you doctor?" Janeway asked hastily, almost having a panic-attack. Suddenly, Holly stopped moving. Janeway moved to her and started freaking-out.

"She isn't breathing, doctor!" She commanded.

"Quickly!" the EMH exclaimed, accessing his cool-headed subroutines. "Tuvok, come to my station and stimulate her brain with 15 gigahertz in six second intervals until it beeps twice!"

Tuvok moved to that station and took over for the doctor. He quickly moved and was now tapping insanely at another console that was beeping shrilly. The girl on the table's back arched slightly and quickly every six seconds with the electricity attempting to keep her brain going. The doctor looked at the captain for a moment before addressing her.

"Captain, grab two empty hyposprays quickly and get two loads of tri-ox compound from the second shelf next to the dermal regenerators!" She ran over to the shelf and grabbed the two loads while demanding an explanation.

"What's wrong with her?"

"Severe oxygen deprivation. Hurry up with those hypos!"

The captain decided then to put aside her emotions and thoughts as much as possible and to focus on the task at hand. She found the one hypospray and was loading it while looking for another. The doctor instructed them further, rapidly.

"Tuvok, after it beeps twice, there may be three high pitched beeps. If that happens grab a hypospray of tetralene, its pre-prepared on the green tray there. It means her adrenaline levels are too high. Inject her directly at the temple. Captain, hurry! Her heart's getting too slow."

Janeway scrambled to a field med-kit and just took a pre-prepared hypo from there. The doctor continued as she ran back to him. "Hand one to me and you keep the other. You must inject it directly on the right side of her neck in the biggest vain you can see at the exact same time I do it on the left side. If you don't, half of her body could be paralyzed forever from de-oxygenation shock."

He said it calmly, as if it was no big deal. She tried not to think about this. The captain nodded as she arrived and handed him his hypo spray. She tried not to let the pressure get to her.

They each positioned them on the biggest vein they could find. The doctor spoke, "On the word three, one, two, three!" They pressed down at the exact same time and the hypos hissed. The captain waited for something to happen, to see if she had failed or not.

Finally, the color returned to the Lieutenant's flesh.

Tuvok was still getting no beeps after each brain shock, meaning she may be "alive" but brain dead. A vegetable. The doctor looked at the console and muttered, "Good, her heart's steady. I'll take over Tuvok, go grab that hypospray. I'm sure she'll need it if this works." Tuvok moved swiftly. The doctor replaced him and stated aloud, "If this doesn't work though, that's it!"

The captain held her breath. The doctor ramped it up to 60 gigahertz and zapped the girl's mind. There was nothing but absolute silence for a few seconds, and then the console beeped twice, indicating her brain functions had returned. She took a long, loud, slow breath, her lung functions her own once again. The captain exhaled and then all but shouted "ATTA GIRL!" startling the doctor.

The console beeped three times shrilly and Tuvok rushed past the doctor and injected the girl in her temple. The doctor looked at the console and pushed a few buttons and began to speak.

"Fast thinking, Tuvok. Good job." The doctor shooed them back away from his work space. He continued monitoring her steadying vitals as he pulled up her file.

"This," He waved at the woman on the bed. "is Lieutenant Holly T'Para and the one over there," He waved at the dead man. "_was _Lieutenant Nicholas Baylor." He grabbed a medical tri-corder and began scanning her while continuing. "Ensign Kim transferred their medical records from the runabout to me promptly after her arrival. Good thing too, she's very interesting. She-"

Tuvok cut him off and finished his sentence for him "-Is the first human/Vulcan hybrid to have the Vulcan parent be her mother, giving her a strange biology. Red blood and Vulcan brain with human inner anatomy. Except heightened senses and telepathy skills, higher than average Vulcans even, but not as strong as Vulcans. She has pointed ears and excellent logic, yet light brown hair and blue eyes, unheard of in Vulcans. We are acquainted with her. We are aware of her… differences. At this moment, we require her current health status doctor."

The doctor was slightly taken aback. "Oh, very well then. She was in neural shock and her heart had nearly stopped from lack of oxygen in her body. We've fixed all of that. I now also see her shoulder was recently dislocated. It seems it was relocated very poorly though, due to the fact it's still slightly out of joint and cracked. I'll just fix that right now while the tetralene still has her out and pain-free." He gingerly grabbed her shoulder and repositioned it correctly with a gruesome squelching noise.

He then picked up a tool used to stimulate bone regeneration beneath the skin and waved it back and forth over the affected area while still scanning her body with the other hand.

"She also has 3 fractured and one broken rib, along with a mild concussion. It's very interesting, the concussion is a few weeks old according to my readings, but I would have guessed months old from the way her head looks."

As he finished with her shoulder, he moved to her ribs and continued. "Her healing abilities are fascinating. Her bones heal rather poorly, but her skin and muscle tissue regenerate at an amazing rate and-"

"Doctor," The captain began her order, tired of beating around the bush. "Summarize."

"Of course captain. She'll be fine. She should wake up in a few minutes on her own as the tetralene burns through her. She won't be able to feel anything for a few seconds because of it. She'll probably sit up the moment she wakes, so please be prepared to catch her as the pain of her head and still healing bones sets in. It shouldn't be too bad though. She will need a lot of bed rest and to take it easy for a few weeks, and she _might_ have a little brain damage."

"Ok, ok. Not too bad. Wait. Brain damage? WHAT?"

The doctor ignored her and she took a deep breath. She moved to her old friend, who hadn't changed one bit. She was 29, very tall. Janeway still remembered her birthday, June 29th, 2350. She had Vulcan ears and a well-endowed figure. Her hair was a silky golden brown, which she kept back in a ponytail, except for a large lock that always hung in front of her face, her curl. Her lips were a pinkish-red. She had aqua eyes and was just all-over beautiful. She would live as long as any Vulcan, and was three times as smart. She was great with children and a wonderful friend.

Tuvok thought of how he had seen her before he had left Vulcan. He knew she had most likely been helping T'Pel to handle the situation at home. He wondered if perhaps Holly had a message for him, or if this was all an interesting accident. Though he was confident in the healing powers of the Vulcan brain, he wondered if, when she woke up, she would remember him at all. He moved to her side across from the captain.

Suddenly, B'elanna Torres and Samantha Wildman rushed in, braethless.

Samantha saw Holly and rushed over to her friend's bed side. "Ohmygoodness!" she ran together. "How did she get here? Captain, what's going on? Is she okay?" B'elanna came over too and began asking similar concerned questions.

"Whoa, slow down! How did you all find out?" The captain asked, closing her eyes and put both hands up, telling them to stop.

The doctor shushed them, not wanting them to disturb the injured Lieutenant.

B'elanna whispered, "Wildman went up to the bridge to report in as the head of her department, I was going for an explanation for the sudden jump to warp 9, straining the plasma manifolds I was about to replace. When we got there, walking together, we noticed you were missing and a ship was being towed into the extra bay. Harry told us that 'some hot lieutenant with Vulcan ears' was in sick bay, injured."

She made quotation marks in the air with her fingers when it came to the part about Harry's interesting description.

Wildman continued for her. "I assumed it was Holly, because Harry began mumbling about 'gorgeous brown hair' and 'tall and thin'."

B'elanna nodded and said "Me too. So we both came here!"

The captain now had one hand on each side of her head, rubbing her temples slowly and considering confining Harry to quarters for a week for his high testosterone levels. "And how exactly do you know Lieutenant T'Para?"

Samantha stepped a little closer. "Well, I took her on as an assistant in my xenobiology lab on Star Base 12 when she was eighteen. I very quickly discovered she knew much more than I did and recommended to the base commander that we bring her on as a full researcher. She and I slowly became friends. She was my bridesmaid and is Naomi's godmother on her birth certificate. I love her like a sister!"

B'elanna spoke up. "And I've known her since we were kids. Misfits to the bitter end on Earth together."

"Well that's all very nice," The doctor interrupted. "But, all of this chit-chat is rather stimulating, and I don't want you over–stimulating my patient! She's just been through a very traumatic experience! I don't want her to be any more shocked than she has to be!"

"How badly is she hurt?" B'elanna asked.

"She'll be fine," The doctor assured her. "Please, she is going to wake up in a minute or so and I don't want her to be scared or stressed neurologically. Keep your voices down and calm and for quiet's sake, only the captain may speak when she's up."

They all nodded, basically ignoring the doctor completely, and the console to the doctor's right beeped two times slowly. The doctor moved to that console and monitored it. "If you want to gather around her, do it now. I don't want you moving too much while she's awake, she will already be disoriented enough. Tuvok, do me a favor though, and pass me the hypospray on the blue tray." Tuvok did just that before they all took positions around her, creating a protective barrier, but not crowding her.


	5. Chapter 4

**Sorry it too so long! Here's chapter 4!**

The woman's breathing came a bit faster, at a more normal pace. Her head moved to one side and she made a small whimper sound as her eyebrows knitted together. Her hands clenched and unclenched and her feet shuffled a little, almost like she was making sure she was still all there. Finally, her eyes fluttered open and she sat up abruptly. She was squinting, as if the light was too bright. She looked at all of the smiling (except for Tuvok) and familiar faces and they all saw fear in her eyes. But other than that, she was the image of Vulcan serenity.

"Either I made it to Voyager, or this is the afterlife." She had said it quietly, and strangely, almost like she wasn't very good at English.

B'elanna laughed lightly at their old inside joke. "Oh this is the afterlife, Holly. But since I'm here, it must be hell." Holly didn't seem to get the joke, for she seemed to not be listening.

"So much for just the captain talking." The doctor mumbled. The captain was just happy that Holly seemed to be undamaged.

Holly suddenly seemed amused as her lips ticked up at the edges ever so slightly. She leaned over and gave B'elanna a brief hug and mumbled. "I know who you are."

Upon hearing this, everyone became anxious that she had suffered memory loss.

Holly pulled her legs up, so she was in a more stable sitting position. She wobbled a little, and almost fell over, but Tuvok took ahold of her shoulders with both hands and looked down at her. She got a screwed up look on her face, similar to confusion. He squeezed her shoulder lightly and said calmly, clearly, and slowly, "Do you know who I am?"

She thought for a few seconds before telling him "I believe so. You are… are… Ugh." She moved her hands to her head. Tuvok held her tightly. The doctor moved in front of her.

"Can you tell me your name?" The doctor asked.

She looked at him in a very Vulcan way. "I am Lieutenant Holly T'Para."

"Good. It could be selective amnesia."

She groaned again. "No, no it's not that… uhh." She grabbed her head again and grunted in frustration.

"Could you tell me what the problem is then?"

"Yes, I am a doctor. It….it's… no…. I don't know the wordings things any longer. Its departing?… My wordings….I'm… _dvunel-has-mar…ha'gel-poprahhek shau-yehat…" _Holly had a screwed up look on her face.

The captain turned to Tuvok. "What did she say?"

"She stated she was dizzy and her photoreceptors are fragile. Computer, lower the lights to 50%. T'Para, what else can you tell us? Anything is helpful."

The lights dimmed and Holly seemed to relax a tiny bit. She gave him a puzzled look like she didn't understand and looked right at him. "_Rihag-ken-tor_…"

They all looked questioningly at Tuvok. "She told me she is having difficulty understanding." He turned to Holly. "_Einglelsu ken-tor? _Can you understand English?_"_

She moaned. "No…_Ri Eingelsu. Dash-tor."_

Tuvok translated. "She said 'no English, it hurts.'"

The doctor nodded and went to get another hypo, knowing what was wrong now and how to fix it.

Holly sat up straighter again. "I… know you." She pointed at Tuvok weakly. "You are…. are _T'nash-veh yeht sa-mekh."_

He nodded. "Yes, I am."

The captain and the others stared at him, waiting while the doctor injected her with something.

B'elanna spoke up. "Well? Who did she say you are?"

"She simply described my relationship to her. It has no accurate English translation." They all frowned at that answer. They wanted details!

Holly suddenly didn't look weak anymore and sat up, no longer looking confused. "Thank you doctor. I believe that was _leviathol_?"

"Um, yes it was." The doctor was impressed she knew this. It was a rarely used medication that few doctors even bothered to memorize.

"Good." Holly said, now looking more Vulcan and less pained. "Your diagnosis what correct. The hypoxia blocked some of the nerve pathways between my language center and speech center. You have remedied the situation."

"Well, you're very welcome." He smiled at her. "Now, I should've said this earlier, but the rest of you are no good for her. OUT. NOW."

She pursed her lips in a very Vulcan-ish way. "That is not necessary, doctor. I am much better now."

Like any of them were going to leave anyways.

Holly gingerly pushed her fingertips to her cheek a few times. "Doctor, I assume I cannot feel anything because you had to use _tetralene_ to keep the adrenaline from over-stimulating my brain?"

The doctor was shocked, again. "Um, yes. But how did you know that? Your file said Astrometrics expert. You couldn't have been able to hear what we were doing."

"I am also a doctor, doctor. A doctor of medicine. Did I not mention that? Nevertheless, I simply estimated that if my shuttle arrived at Voyager when I expected it to, and I was almost immediately beamed to sick bay, that the level of oxygen deprivation would most likely have me in neural shock and my heart about to stop. I assumed that if you used around 60 gigahertz to bring me out of neural shock, my adrenaline levels would spike dramatically, and I would need to be injected with tetralene, which has a short-term numbing after-effect."

The doctor could only nod and blink repeatedly, speechless. Holly continued.

"Therefore, it should wear off in about thirty seconds. I assume you were able to remedy my other ailments?"

"Yes, I was. Now, please do me the favor explain your amazing healing abilities! How is it that-"

The captain cut him off. "Later, doctor, later. Holly, how did you get here? And what happened? Why is Baylor dead?"

Holly opened her mouth to speak. She was about to say something, but nothing came out. It seemed to die in her throat. Suddenly her gut clenched and her eyes seemed to fill with pain. Her teeth clenched together with an audible click. Her nails dug into the bio-bed's fabric, yet she seemed to maintain the Vulcan look of serenity. She grunted and pulled strongly at her uniform jacket. Suddenly, she let go an agonizing scream of pain and horror. The doctor rushed closer to her as the captain demanded from him, "What's wrong with her?!"

The doctor shouted over his patient's screaming. "COME NOW, LIEUTENANT! YOUR RIBS AND SHOULDER ARE NOT THAT BAD!"

Her screams died slightly as she began hyperventilating. She fell backwards, convulsing, eyes rolling back into her head, but Tuvok caught her and kept her slightly elevated. She began trying to remove her jacket, still making noises of extreme pain. The doctor was confused.

"Why are you trying to remove your jacket?"

"PLEASE!" she said through clenched teeth. "It burns!"

The doctor undid her Star Fleet uniform jacket and he and B'elanna each pulled one of her sleeves off. She was left in the standard gray uniform tank-top with a bra under that. But what made all of them, except Tuvok of course, gasp was her arms and back.

She looked like a hot dog left on the grill too long. She had blisters that were bleeding all over her arms and her skin was bubbled and red and black and purple.

"EVRYONE OUT!" the doctor yelled, and they all retreated from the bio-bed. She began screaming loud again as the doctor touched her arm, until she was stabbed with another hypo spray and became unconscious again…

**Out of the frying pan and into the fire...**


	6. Chapter 5

**A little background (kind of) in this chapter of our dear Holly T'Para.**

"Will she be all right?" B'elanna begged the doctor.

"She's not out of danger yet, not even close! Tuvok, assist me. She has severe radiation burns, unlike any I've ever seen or heard about, but they look similar to gamma radiation burns, so I'll treat them as such. I need a laser scalpel. Put some gloves on. Computer, erect a surgical field around bio-bed one."

Tuvok put on some gloves and a mask and grabbed the laser scalpel. The computer dinged "acknowledged". A force field that Tuvok could step through surrounded the small bio-bed area.

Tuvok entered and assisted the doctor. They had to cut strips of the burned skin off and then immediately use the dermal regenerator to keep her from bleeding out. The others could only stand there and watch in terror.

Samantha couldn't bear it and hid her face against B'elanna's shoulder, trying not to vomit.

They finished fifteen minutes later, having cut off basically all of the skin on her arms and back and regenerating it after each strip was cut off. When they finished, the doctor turned the light off around where Holly was and pulled a blanket up around her. He and Tuvok exited the surgical field and turned it off. It all seemed so unreal. So much had happened so quickly.

The doctor approached Janeway, whispering. "Captain that was some new form of radiation, something my tri-corder can't detect. It wasn't in her blood-stream, thank god, the effect was only skin-deep. But one more rad, and she would've been done for."

Janeway's face went stone hard. "Study it doctor. I want a cure for whatever the hell that was. I never want to have to see anyone with that on them ever again."

He nodded solemnly.

"Now, how is she? What will her long-term effects be?"

"She should be okay within a few weeks, but she needs a dark environment that feels more like home and less like a sick-bay. She is showing signs of extreme fatigue and has no calories or liquids in her system. She is extremely light sensitive from the radiation. I can't do much for her intravenously with the way her metabolism burns through it. She needs food and rest."

The captain nodded, already putting a plan together.

"She should wake up in about 2 hours," The doc continued. "Considering her runabout isn't going anywhere any time soon, and we don't know how she got here, can I assume she's now part of the Voyager crew?"

The captain hadn't thought of that, but nodded anyways.

"Well, then I suggest we get her some quarters and move her there while she's still out. When she wakes up, I want someone she's familiar with there. I want them to make sure she eats plenty and sleeps at least 16 hours a day, preferably more. Only one or two people visiting at a time, but I want someone she trusts at her bedside at all times. She will be very tired and very hungry, but also fragile. I will need to re-examine her every 12 hours or so. Can this be done?"

The captain nodded and smiled slightly, looking over at her friend. "This woman has braved so much to get here, and we don't even know why yet. This is the least we can do. I'll get B'elanna to bring an anti-grav unit up and we'll take her to quarters on deck 3. We'll put her in the Admiral quarters down the hall from my room."

The doctor looked a little puzzled. "Admirals quarters for a Lieutenant?"

The captain nodded. "There are three _logical _reasons for this, doctor. One, I want her near me so I can keep an eye on her. Two, She's going to need the extra room with all of these people having to visit her. And three, It's a little joke of ours. We had always said someday we were going to sneak into empty admiral's quarters and spend the night. I'll have Samantha stay with her for now." The doctor nodded.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

About forty-five minutes later, the senior staff, minus B'elanna and Icheb, were all gathered in the meeting room and they were all bringing each other up to speed. The doctor was finishing up briefing them on her current medical needs. All the captain could do was thank the lucky stars that her friend still recognized them.

She finally realized that Icheb was missing. She cut the doctor off. "Seven, Where's Icheb?"

Seven replied in her normal dispassionate tone. "I assigned him to assist the doctor, watch over Astrometrics, and assist Ensign Vorik in downloading the files from and repairing the Atlantis."

Four years ago, the captain would've scolded Seven for putting so much work on the boy. Now, she knew better. Even with all of these things to occupy him, he still became bored and sometimes troublesome… The captain nodded.

B'elanna came in and stood behind the empty chair for her. The captain looked at her, giving her the chance to speak.

"Captain, we moved Holly to the quarters on deck 3, like you asked. Samantha and Naomi are with her now. They'll contact you when she wakes up."

"Good. Ok folks. Let's get down to this and cut out the bush beating. This woman _can_ be trusted. She was Samantha's first bridesmaid. She is Naomi's godmother. She's also godmother to all of Tuvok's four children. She has been my friend since 2361, when she started taking courses at the academy. I had already been enrolled for two years there. Keep in mind she was nine at the time."

Harry interrupted. "SHE JOINED STAR FLEET AT NINE?"

She glared at him for interrupting. Honestly, she thought he knew better. "No, Ensign. She joined the Academy at nine, and saved my butt in linguistics. She was my roommate, and much more mature than I was back then."

That shut Harry up…for the moment…

Tom put a grin on his face. "The good Captain wasn't as cordial in her academy days? Nooooo…" He said sarcastically.

She laughed a little. "Better believe it. After classes, I would go out, shop, and maybe hang out with friends. But, nooooo, not her. Right after classes, she'd go for a long run, shower, eat, study, and sleep. Linguistics and Astrometrics were the only classes we had together. Ever wondered why I wasn't at the top of those? It's 'cause I got beaten by a nine-year old. We've been friends ever since."

"I've always wondered why…" Harry said quietly. He was already hoping she would stay. She sounded amazing. Maybe he would finally find his true love in her! Just maybe…

"So, after two years, she majored in linguistics, but thought she was too young to be assigned to anything yet,-"

"I thought you couldn't major until you completed all four years!" Harry interjected.

"She only needed to be there for two. So she was able to graduate at the same time as I did. She tested out of everything faster than they could produce it. Now as I was saying, she thought she was too young to be assigned to anything yet, despite receiving permission from Star Fleet to join so young. Can you believe it? Being able to be a Star Fleet offer at age eleven? So while I went off on my first assignment, she went to medical school for two years and became a doctor."

Harry interrupted again. "Isn't medical school six years?"

Janeway did a dramatic pause again, reminding Harry she didn't like being interrupted. "She only needed two before she tested out of all of it as well. So she was thirteen and already a doctor and linguistics expert. So there was an opening on the ship I was on, but no. She went back for another two years and became an Astrometrics expert. Then she finally joined Star Fleet at fifteen. She spent two years as an Ambassador after all that."

"Wow... Being a linguist, doctor, astrometrics expert, and a diplomat? At seventeen?" Paris muttered.

The captain continued. "Tuvok tells me she got assigned to some diplomatic post on Vulcan. She is T'Pel's cousin? Is that right?" He simply nodded and Janeway went on. "So she met Tuvok and lived near them, becoming friends with him. Am I getting this right Lieutenant?"

"Yes." That was all he said. They all looked at him, waiting for more. He said nothing until at least 30 seconds had gone by, then sighed. "I am assuming you are expecting me to contribute some sort of personal tale, thus the silent anticipation?"

They all nodded.

He sighed again. "Very well, if I must." He sat straighter, as if he was just giving a boring away-mission report. "When Holly arrived on Vulcan, my third son had just been born. My wife informed me her younger cousin was being assigned to Vulcan as an Ambassador in Star Fleet. She was invited to dinner and I found I very much enjoyed her intelligence and company. We had her move into the house next to ours, as it was at the time empty and we found her efficient and useful. She would watch our children when T'Pel and I required a rest. She was the only person I know who was ever able to get Vanik to sleep and eat his food, as he was and still is a… selective Vulcan male. After Holly got reassigned, we kept in touch and she would often visit when she had leave. I… do consider her my daughter."

Everyone looked warmed to the heart and he simply sighed, annoyed at having to share something so personal. The captain continued, smiling.

"She knew Samantha from her days at Star Base 12. I understand B'elanna is also familiar with her. Any comments B'elanna?"

She sat, finally. She said nothing for a moment and everyone got all antsy. Tom finally spoke up. "Well? Tell us!"

She smirked. "Well captain, let me start by saying you've mentioned a lot of her amazing skills, but you've forgotten her naughty streak."

Harry seemed to forget he didn't have to think aloud for a moment. "Someone that trusted and that beautiful has a naughty streak? This just keeps getting better…" He ended in an evil grin while staring into space. He seemed to be daydreaming.

All of the people at the table stared at him, apoplectic, shocked. Harry snapped out of it, straightened up, and cleared his throat. "I mean, naughty? How so? It just seems unlikely…"

They all continued to stare at him for a moment before laughing, except Tuvok. For those who knew him, it was obvious he was glaring daggers at Ensign Kim from across the table.

The captain put an assuring hand up. "Remind me to tell you some of the stories of when she did have spare time while we were at the academy. We became known as the 'beastly beauties.' They never saw our faces, we wore disguises, and they never figured out it was us. Those poor professors…"

Everyone laughed and Harry was sure he would ask the captain later.

B'elanna started again, still laughing.

"Let me see…"

**Aaaaaaaaand cliff hanger! MWAHAAHAHAHAHA!**


	7. Chapter 6

**Sorry about the cliffhanger, I was feeling adventurous! That doesn't mean I won't do it again.**

**So, now B'elanna's story!**

B'elanna began her story, "We were both seven and going to the same elementary school. She was on Earth spending some time with her father. I was an outcast because of the whole half-Klingon thing, and boy did I have a nasty temper. She was made fun of and had no friends because she was half-Vulcan and smarter than all of us combined, so she got special tutoring. We kind of bonded as the misfits of the class, you know?"

"Well let's hear one of the marvelous misadventures of Miss No-Emotion and Miss Hot-Head!" Tom jested.

B'elanna smiled. "Oh, sure! So, there was a kid named Daniel in the class who would call me 'miss turtle head.' I wanted so bad just to punch him in his smug little face. We had studied Vulcans in class before, so we knew they were a lot stronger than us."

Tuvok interrupted her. "The average Vulcan is 4.7 times stronger than the average human."

She sighed lightly. "So anyways, Daniel never called me names in front of Holly, 'cause he was afraid of her I guess. Well one day, we were walking back to my house to play after school. This was back when my parents were still together."

"I thought your mother didn't like having people over. And besides, _what would you play_?" Tom said, then turned to Harry snickering at their inside joke. Obviously, they were making some sort of lesbian joke. B'elanna was not amused and continued.

"We played Kadis-Kot and watched cartoons, Tom. Now, my mother liked Holly because she was 'courageous and honorable.' I just needed a friend, so I didn't care about my mother's Klingon pride with holly. Well Daniel and his little buddies rounded the corner and surrounded us. Daniel started blabbing on and on about how we shouldn't be in a _human _school, and 'go back to your own planets', blah, blah, blah. I was just getting angrier and angrier while it was as if she couldn't hear him."

"She always had never-ending patience with bullies." The captain muttered.

B'elanna continued. "So when holly got tired of his mouth, she completely butted in and told Daniel, 'We have been extremely patient in listening to your mindless babble. But now I'm afraid we must go, so if you would please step aside, we'll be on our way.'"

Everyone chuckled at the Vulcan's past bluntness.

B'elanna went on. "So she grabbed my hand and she tried to shoulder past them gently. Daniel shoved Holly back and told her, 'I don't think so freak. Boys, I think we need to teach elf ears here a lesson.' Well, at calling her 'elf ears', I _freaked out_. I got one small punch to the kid's gut in before Holly pulled me back and attempted diplomacy one more time. I'll never forget what she whispered to me, 'there is another way, B'elanna, always.'"

The captain nodded knowingly and Tuvok seemed proud. B'elanna was having the most fun with the story, though.

"So she stepped back a little and smiled that fake human smile she did to please adults and her father. Her mother and father were separated, by the way, so she was living with her dad then. So she smiled and told him, 'Why Daniel, elf ears? What a humorous joke! B'elanna, did you get the fly you were aiming for that was on his shirt? No? Oh, well. Thank you for the… stimulating conversation, Daniel. We _must _be going _now_, or we could be late for dinner.' She was like an angel, never ending patience. This time she shoved through them all with force and dragged me with her towards my house. As we were walking away and I was laughing quietly, Daniel yelled back, 'If miss turtle head ever touches me again, I'll knock her block off!'"

B'elanna was just about to get to the good part, and they knew it. Everyone in the room was on the edge of their seats in anticipation. B'elanna left them hanging until Chakotay said, "Well? What happened?!"

B'elanna smiled and leaned back in her chair, having fun torturing them.

"Hearing the 'miss turtle head', Holly stopped. Like, dead halt. She let go of my hand and turned around, striding right up to them all. I ran up behind her, ready to fight, but again she used words. 'Please direct your Neanderthal insults towards me. I do not mind. But please do not use slang glib towards my friend.' I was sure we were going to be best friends ever since then."

The captain, Tom, Harry, and Chakotay were still all bouncing with anticicpation. Tom spoke up when B'elanna didn't say anything after that.

"So what happened?" Tom nearly shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. B'elanna beamed and kept going.

"Daniel didn't like 'her tone' and told her 'I'll call miss turtle head whatever I want!' That was when I was sure she would deck him. I was wrong again. She spoke loud then so all of his buddies could hear. 'You enjoy games, Daniel? Well I can play. Joshua!'"

B'elanna stood, acting this part out, pointing to a random spot on the wall.

"'Joshua, You still don't know who told the whole class about your parents getting divorced, which you kept secret from all but one. Daniel. Well, Daniel told everyone during lunch. Will!'" B'elanna pointed to another point on the wall. "'Daniel was the one who told the other children you enjoy the color pink, resulting in endless ridicule! Matthew, Daniel was the one who stole your cupcake from your lunch on your birthday.'"

B'elanna pointed to different random places on the wall as she listed the children's names. After a couple of examples, she sat and went on with the story.

"Holly went on, listing all of the horrible things this kid had done. They all turned and dog piled on Daniel, beating the crap out of him, while we flipped around and ran all the way home, with her smiling and me laughing. So, when we got home, I asked her. 'Daniel really did all of those things?' She smiled her little Vulcan smile and told me, 'Approximately 40 percent of the things I listed actually happened. I knew Will liked pink, and someone had told the others, but it was not Daniel.' So we laughed about that and I asked her, 'Why didn't you just beat him up or something?' And she told me the wisest thing anyone has ever told me."

B'elanna paused for dramatic effect.

"'I could have, but I do not enjoy touching filth. Nevertheless, B'elanna, always remember they are below you and me. And we need them alive.' I had no idea why so I asked. 'Why would we need them?' And she said, 'Because, when we are rich and famous, or high ranking officials, or business owners, or Fitzen Prize winners, we will need someone to shine our shoes and serve us food and clean the bathrooms. So frankly, people like Daniel can eat our dust and kiss my ass.'"

Everyone smiled and laughed. Tuvok just stated, "An inspiring tale." Seven, who was sitting next to him, chimed in, "Indeed."

Everyone seemed to be impressed...

**I hope you like it all so far. Please review!**


	8. Chapter 7

**This chapter explains what was going on before they found the damaged shuttle with T'Para on it. It's kind of sad...**

They discussed her character some more before moving on to the situation of, well, their new runabout. Harry took over.

"As you all know, there were two people onboard the runabout who were on an extremely top-secret mission. We recovered most of the mission details from the _Atlantis' _database, but there is still a lot missing. Oh, and captain, we found a small bag containing each of the crews belongings. We beamed them to Cargo Bay 2, where the doctor and a security team pronounced them radiation-free, so the Commander had them approved to be taken to the lieutenant's quarters." The captain nodded, approving. Harry went on.

"Anyways, apparently Starfleet has been working on ways to get us home faster. This is the most promising idea they have had so far, and it works pretty well as we can see. It's called trans-space fixing. What it does is it creates a controlled tear in space and time to make a wormhole with de-polarized protons. They even figured out how to place the exit port.

Everything was fine until the tear, which was barely big enough to hold the runabout in the first place, started to collapse without warning. It released some sort of radiation that ate at the metal and threw them around. It damaged the runabout's sensors and they lost most of their power in trying to maintain their shields through the whole ordeal."

"Poor Holly!" B'elanna muttered softly.

Harry nodded in agreement. "When they finally got out, apparently the tear's exit port had also become unstable and was jumping around wildly. They were supposed to come out where they had estimated we were. When they got right near the end of the wormhole, it was jumping the fastest. Their sensors reported them being in the gamma quadrant twice, at Earth, back at star base 229, at deep space 9, and where they came out all at once. It was only by random chance, we're sure, that they came out about four weeks closer to the alpha quadrant than us, here,"

He pointed to the point of the exit wormhole on the star chart he brought up on the monitor. Then he pulled up a list of Lieutenant T'Para's written logs and pointed at the first, not opening it.

"She logged in this one that Baylor was bleeding internally, but she didn't have the proper tools to perform the necessary surgery. He eventually died with a bleed in his brain that was undetectable until it was too late. We found a video recording she made for us. I haven't watched all of the way thorugh it, but the beginning is rather sad, though."

The captain placed a neutral expression on her face. "Play it on the monitor Ensign."

He pushed a button on the padd he was holding and it said downloading on the larger screen for a moment.

Harry leaned over to Tom and whispered, "This T'Para's more beautiful than anyone I've ever seen!" Tom just scoffed at Harry's poor timing.

The Starfleet official message insignia came on before the message started. T'Para came on in a damaged runabout, Baylor behind her dancing like a ballerina. She sat straight and began to speak. Tom nodded slightly at Harry, agreeing that she was gorgeous.

"Star date 56557.68, Lieutenant T'Para to the Federation vessel Voyager. This runabout _was _outfitted with an experimental trans-space drive, which the details of are in a protected federation folder marked 'Mission, Return Voyager'. The drive allowed a small craft to enter subspace and travel at a much faster rate to far off destinations. Our mission-"

Suddenly the man in the background began shouting. The senior staff, except for Tuvok, all seemed to wince at the humor and pain of the situation.

"HEY! Hey!" Baylor came up behind Holly. "Holly! I know you're gonna be Suzanne's bridesmaid and all, but I've been meaning to ask you. When we have kids, will you be the godmother?" He slurred. His eyes were puffy and red and he had a cut across his cheek. He suddenly looked down at the floor and began screaming wildly. Holly stood and walked him to the bed, leaving the recording going, having no choice because her hands were full with handling him. Baylor was still screaming as Holly laid him down on the cot.

She spoke to him carefully, as if he was a small child. "Why are you screaming, Nicholas?"

"BECAUSE I HAVE FEET!"

"That is a good thing. You can stop screaming now." He stopped.

"Oh, okay then. But, ya didn't answer the queeeestioooon…" He stated in a sleepy, sing-songy voice.

She sighed, showing no emotion, though the Captain swore she saw a tear roll down Holly's cheek. "I would be honored to be your child's or children's godmother." She then began rummaging around.

He propped himself up on his elbows. "Oh goody. What're you doing?"

She pulled out a med-kit from under the other bed. "I am retrieving the med-kit."

"Whyyyyy?" He stretched out.

"To get you a lollypop for behaving, Nicholas." She said the lie with a straight face.

"Yay!" He shouted and clapped his hands together. She approached him with a hypo spray and pushed him on to his back again. "What's that?"

She lowered it towards him saying, "It makes it so you can eat the lollypop." She injected him with the hypospray and he became quieter. The senior staff could barely hear what he said.

"You know you're my best friend, right?" He yawned. She smiled ever-so-slightly.

"Yes, you have told me that, and I am glad. Good night." The medication took effect and he passed out. She turned off the light in the bed section and returned to the recording screen. She seemed so aged suddenly, sadder, wiser.

"I apologize for Lieutenant Baylor. He has an infection that is giving him a high fever and causing delusions. He is also dying from internal bleeding somewhere I cannot detect." She frowned slightly, her eyes turned sad, and she suddenly looked decades older. "I'm afraid he only has a few hours left. There is nothing I can do but keep him pain-free."

She cleared her throat and continued. "Our mission was to make it to Voyager, and transfer the drive to it. Then we were to find a way to make the tear larger in diameter and get everyone back safely. If we couldn't do it within in a month, we were to go back in the runabout and build a bigger one for Voyager at Star Base 229. Unfortunately, the drive broke off and is now trapped in the closed tear."

Baylor shifted in his unconscious state and Holly looked over her shoulder and back before sighing.

"I believe the original goal is still possible to achieve, though something went wrong. I cannot be sure due to the computer's cascade failure, but, I believe the tear became unstable and began collapsing because there was an unknown radiation within the tear that reacted with the drive's power source, a Caratite crystal. But, it is still possible to just build another drive, one big enough for Voyager. All of its schematics and information you will need on building it are in the mission folder. There is a small box in my bag that has the crystals in it."

Harry frowned, not remembering there being crystals in her bag when they scanned it, just some jewelry when he went through the security check.

"I have some injuries, but Baylor is in much worse shape. Should I be dead upon arrival, if we make it to voyager at all, my will is in my medical file. Baylor's will is in his medical file." She stopped and took a short breath, lifting up her hand in the Vulcan symbol.

"May Voyager get home safely. Live long and prosper. End transmission." The screen went dead.

Everyone was silent for a minute, just letting it all sink in. Finally they began talking again, but everyone used hushed tones, depressed from the video of Baylor's death. Someone had died trying to get to them and they all felt a little guilty. Some of them had tears in their eyes…

**-tears- Boohoo! :(**


	9. Chapter 8

**Sorry I've been gone! I was on a cruise! :D**

**So, anyways, back to the meeting room!**

They discussed the situation for another thirty minutes, talking about risks, what went wrong, should they attempt it on a larger scale, etc.

The captain, however, was growing very bored of all these technicalities. She had bridge staff to do this sort of thing for her! She listened to them debate and argue about it all, knowing it would end the same way it always did, with her making the final decision. Finally, mercifully, her com badge beeped. She spun her chair around rapidly and said, "Janeway here", very quietly.

"Captain, its Wildman. Holly's awake." Ensign Wildman answered.

"On my way Ensign," the captain said with a smile. She stood and her crew "that look", the one that told them all to shut up, which they quickly did.

"Here's what we're going to do. We're going to figure out what went wrong and attempt to remedy it. We're going to run lots of tests and trials and see if we can't get this thing to take us home. Harry, go down to engineering with Vorik and start seeing if you can't understand this thing. B'elanna will catch up with you later, you can fill her in then. Chakotay, go over their wills. Determine whether Baylor should be buried at space or if we should hold on to him for when we get back to Earth. Tom, you have the bridge. I want you to monitor the sensors closely, make sure there isn't any of that radiation around. B'elanna, Tuvok, you're with me. Dismissed." She waved a hand and they all stood.

Tuvok, Janeway, and B'elanna left and entered the turbolift.

"Deck three." Tuvok said.

They all went to her room immediately, not saying anything, too worried that she would have brain damage, too worried she would be hateful, too worried of everything. They all kept it to themselves, of course, but the tension on the way there was thick enough to cut through. They all knew where they were going without the captain having to tell them anything. Tuvok took the lead straight to her door and palmed it open, it had been unlocked by Samantha.

The lights were on at 25 percent and Holly T'Para was lying on the large bed in civilian house clothes. She was wearing a long-sleeved, v-neck shirt and a long pair of sweat-pants. Samantha was sitting at the foot of the bed, while Naomi read a padd on the floor.

Holly sat very Vulcan-ish. No emotion and ram-rod straight. As they entered, Holly stood slowly.

Samantha began her complaint. "Hey now Holly, you know your not supposed to…"

Holly stopped her objection with putting one hand. "I am more than capable of walking, Samantha."

But there was something off in her tone… Her voice sounded strangled.

The captain and the others walked towards her. Holly tried to walk over to them, straight and tall. The captain almost bought it, until Holly's gut clenched in pain and she lost her balance, doubling over in agony. She grunted as the air was knocked out of her by her own weakness.

Samantha leapt to her feet and rushed over, grabbing Holly's arm to stabilize her. Naomi moved out of the way to the replicator and replicated a glass of ice water for Holly. Holly nodded her thanks to Samantha, but was too weak to even stand straight again and her knees gave in.

Tuvok was immediately at her side, protective. He waved Samantha back and helped Holly to stand on her feet. He bent slightly, placing one arm at the small of Holly's back, and the other behind her knees. He swept her off of her feet with ease, as if she weighed no more than a pillow.

His show of strength shocked the captain. For the twenty years she had known him, he had always shown restraint in the extreme. He took Holly to the long sofa-like bench in front of the view port and set her down. He looked down at her, frowning slightly.

"The doctor ordered bed rest. You are not to move. _That _was an excellent example of why." Tuvok ordered sternly.

"I am as well a doctor and movement is good for circulation." Holly said before coughing, though she tried to hide it. Naomi moved forwards and handed her the glass of water. She took it and placed one hand on Naomi's cheek. Naomi smiled and Holly said "Thank you, Naomi," before dropping her hand and taking a gulp of water.

"It is not your circulation I am concerned about. That may very well be the only thing I am _not _concerned of." Tuvok told her, refusing to admit defeat.

"We will debate this later." Holly stated plainly, using a tone almost as if Tuvok were her father. "Currently, I have guests to attend to." She turned to the others and set her glass down on the side table. "Please, come closer. My voice is impaired at the moment."

They all gathered around her. She sat on the corner of the long built in couch. Tuvok was sitting next to her, but left enough space between them to make it look like they were strangers. The captain pulled over a large armchair and sat a few feet in front of Holly. B'elanna, Naomi, and Samantha all sat on a large, round, plush footrest. Holly cleared her throat.

"I'm sure you have all been advised as to how I arrived here by now," They all nodded. "Good. I assume then you would rather hear more personal news from home then?" Everyone smiled exceeeept Tuvoook and Hoollly, because of the whole Vulcan thing.

Holly seemed puzzled for a moment, though. "Oh, yes, I am forgetting something of great importance. Before I get to news from home, Tuvok? Could you hand me that bag?" She turned back to everyone else. "This takes precedent over greetings from home, I apologize."

They all nodded, understanding. Tuvok grabbed the small bag, passing it to Holly. She sat it on her lap and opened it. She rummaged around for a moment before pulling out a blue silky cord. At the end of it, there was a large cluster of crystals that seemed to glow and resonate in the low light. They were a pure white until Holly touched them, and then they turned a glittering light shade of blue. It was mesmerizing and beautiful. Naomi mumbled "so pretty".

Tuvok reached for them, curious, and Holly held the cord, but allowed him to touch the crystals. They turned an equally beautiful darker blue that glittered like the night sky. He examined it while she began speaking.

"These are the caratite crystals that power the drive. They are the rarest known substance in the universe. This is the largest cluster of them ever to exist. Star Fleet had to pull many favors to get these." She pulled at the silky cord and it split in two down the middle. When the split reached the crystals, which seemed to be attached to the cord almost magically, the crystal also split in two.

"The thread is produced by a tree that lived near the largest deposit of caratite crystals ever. The crystals had an adverse effect on the molecular structure of the tree. It then began producing illness-curing fruit and leafs that could be woven into fabric with very interesting properties, such as this cord."

"Why have we never heard of this tree, or these crystals?" Janeway asked.

"They have been kept secret by Starfleet for several decades, to avoid the chaos that would ensue."

Naomi piped up, "Why do the crystals make colors?"

"That is an excellent question, Naomi. The crystals themselves give off a different color for each person, representing different personalities, due to their biotic relationship. They respond to our body heat, almost as if alive, but they are not. I have learned to read the colors, almost as a personality measuring device. They are extremely valuable and must be kept under surveillance. Captain,"

She handed the captain half of the crystals. "You should wear this half and I will wear the other. And I believe it prudent that anyone you are unfamiliar with, should they ask, should be told they are trinkets I brought for you from Risa."

The captain nodded. Holly looked over at Tuvok and how he was still entranced by it. She smiled ever so slightly and pointed at the color it had turned for him. "Trustworthy, intelligent, caring, stubborn and cautious. This is what you are. It turned the exact same color for T'Pel." Tuvok seemed to then snap out of his trance and handed her the crystals, mumbling a thank you.

Holly beckoned Naomi forward. She came up and sat at Holly's feet, ever smiling. Holly took the girl's hand and placed the crystals in it. They turned a sparkly bubble gum pink. Naomi "ooed" and "ahhed". Holly looked at the color for a moment.

"You are vital, full of youth and ideas, inspiring and persistent. There is great potential in you, my dear Naomi." And through saying all of these emotional words, she still looked emotionless and Vulcan. The only thing that gave her away was the feeling in her voice. Naomi stood and hugged Holly before letting her have the crystals back and returning to her seat next to her mother, who hugged her.

B'elanna scooted closer to Holly and put her hand out. "Okay, do me now."

Holly raised a questioning eyebrow. B'elanna flicked her wrist impatiently. Holly nodded and placed the crystals in B'elanna's palm. They turned a fiery orange, then fluctuated to a fiery red, then settled on a blazing orange-red. B'elanna looked annoyed.

"Hey what gives? Naomi, you broke it…"

Naomi muttered, "No I didn't."

Holly shook her head slowly and cleared her throat. "I assure you Bell, they are working perfectly. You are an emotionally distressed individual, and this," She waved at the crystal, "reflects that." B'elanna scoffed, and then laughed softly.

"I had almost forgotten my nick name, huh. So what do you see in my future, magical one?"

Holly frowned slightly, still Vulcan looking. "The crystals do not predict the future, they read personalities. And yours is a proverbial 'open book'. You are angry, have an awful temper. You feel you cannot trust anyone, especially when they say they love you. You believe you are destined for loneliness, unlovable."

B'elanna looked away, mouth set in a hard line. It was all true, and she knew it, but there was no way she was admitting to that. Holly reached over and grabbed B'elanna's shoulder.

"And underneath the uncertainty and skepticism, there is bravery, love, strength, courage, and passion. You need to seek it out, though, for it is buried deep." B'elanna smiled a little, deciding already that she had forgiven Holly.

No one dared to say anything about B'elanna, they knew it might come back to haunt them. Holly's face the whole time remained rock hard, only her eyes betrayed her. They were glittering with warmth while her face was stone cold.

"Bell, if you would hand it to Samantha." Holly asked.

B'elanna did and it turned a shiny sunflower yellow in Samantha's palm. Holly looked at the crystals as Samantha turned them over in her hand.

Holly took the crystals from Samantha and put them over her own head, letting them act as a necklace as they dangled on her chest. They turned a beautiful glittering blue again.

"Samantha, you are the easiest as usual. You are shy, sympathetic, humanitarian and bright as the sun. You light up the room with your sociable personality." Samantha smiled and pulled Naomi on to her lap. Holly turned to look at the captain.

"Well I suppose it's my turn." Janeway dropped her own half of the crystal necklace over her head and upon touching her uniform front, they turned a lilac purple. The captain became mesmerized at the pretty color.

"Lovely," she muttered.

Holly leaned forward slightly to inspect it, and Tuvok kept a hand on her lower chest to keep her from falling off the couch. She nodded approvingly at the color of Janeway's crystals.

"Just as I expected, captain. It reads you are wise beyond your years, cunning, diligent, commanding. You are a leader figure and a good diplomat. You have a hard exterior and a soft interior."

The captain smiled and let the crystals hang around her neck.

Holly sighed slightly. "Well, that is done. Now, own to more unsettling matters. I _had_ letters for everyone onboard," She pulled out a padd from the same bag.

"Which I spent a week collecting around the alpha quadrant. The key word in that sentence was had. Unfortunately, when the computer failed, I was only able to save a small percentage of them as the others were obliterated. I have them here on this padd." She handed it to the captain.

"I assume you will help these find their proper recipients." The captain nodded,sad that she probably didn't have a letter in there. She looked over the list of names and sure enough, none of her senior staff was on there, except for Chakotay and Seven.

**News from home in the next chapter! Yay!**


	10. Chapter 9

**Happy Thanksgiving! Here, have an extra long chapter!**

"However, many of the family members gave me oral messages to pass along as well. I'll start with you all since you are already here."

The captain nodded, putting the padd to her side.

Holly sat back and coughed, having difficulty breathing again. Who knew being oxygen deprived for just ten minutes could leave one in such poor shape?

Tuvok moved closer, very protective of her. He pulled her up against him, her head resting on the hollow of his shoulder. He reached over and grabbed the glass of water, handing it to her.

"Drink, T'Para." He ordered. She did and winced slightly at the sting in her throat, though the expression was so miniscule that only Tuvok noticed it. Others would think she was just as Vulcan as ever. She stayed leaning against him and set the glass back on the table.

"Naomi, even though you received a letter from your father that clearly expresses his love for you, he wishes for me to tell you in person that he loves you. Even though he's never seen you, no matter what you look like or who you are inside, you are his little girl and he is awaiting your arrival back home."

Naomi smiled brightly and one tear ran down her cheek. She and her mother had already read the letter while they were with Holly. Samantha wiped her daughter's tears away with one hand. Holly was touched by the mother-daughter relationship they had, but made no indication of it.

"Samantha, your husband wishes me to tell you he loves you dearly and will never stray, no matter how long it takes you to get home. He turned your old office into a room for Naomi. He painted it a dark pink and got her a bed. He also told me he's going to get her a 'kitty-cat' the second she gets home."

Samantha was crying, as was Naomi. She tried to blubber out "permission to leave, captain," but was too busy weeping. Janeway just smiled softly at them both and said, "Dismissed".

They left. Holly turned to Janeway. Holly's lips ticked up ever so slightly, in that smile that was so rarely seen.

"Kathryn, my old friend. Tell me, is linguistics still your favorite hobby?"

The captain frowned and scrunched up her face.

"Oh you know I have always hated that field, Holly! And damned if I ever understood it in the first place! With its stupid syntaxes and speaking in riddles and-"

She stopped when all of their laughing cut her off. She just smiled.

"Oh Holly, I've missed you so much!"

Kathryn leapt from her chair, over to Holly and hugged her fiercely. Holly never admitted the pain that one embrace caused her as she hugged Janeway back as strong as she could. Tuvok could tell, though, that it was hurting her and swiftly leaned over, peeling Kathryn from Holly carefully. When Kathryn shot him a puzzled and annoyed look, he moved his captain to sit on the floor at Holly's feet before speaking.

"May I remind you, Captain, that T'Para is injured and is physically exhausted? I ask that you handle her carefully."

The captain was about to argue with him, when she noticed something, causing her to pause.

"Tuvok, you've never called anyone something as informal as just their name before! It's always 'Captain Janeway', or 'Ensign Kim', or 'Mr. Neelix.'"

"Your point, Captain?"

"Why is she just 'T'Para', while I'm 'Captain'?"

Tuvok cleared his throat. "It is a matter of personal familiarity. Besides, you have never asked me to call you otherwise. T'Para had quickly become frustrated with being called Lieutenant as we became better acquainted and asked me to stop when it wasn't proper."

"I see," the captain said semi-sarcastically, understanding but not liking his explanation. He was closer to her than anyone else on the ship, but that still, apparently, didn't account for much.

_Well, _she thought. _I suppose I'm not the closest one to him on board anymore. _

And truly, Janeway didn't mind. She'd had a good father figure in her life, Holly hadn't. Holly's father loved her, but never enjoyed spending time with her. She had been just a pet to him, one that could be kicked when he had felt like it. Janeway had learned all this years ago, when the nightmares had still haunted Holly. Janeway didn't have time for that now, so she pushed the bubbling memories back for later.

The captain's thoughts moved back to Tuvok. He was still reserved with her, maybe a little too professional. He never mentioned his family or home, his hobbies or likes. But apparently he did with Holly. Was Janeway jealous, though? Not particularly, because they were both still her friends. She turned beaming up again at Holly.

B'elanna stood from the ottoman and moved to the armchair the captain was occupying before, pulling it even closer to Tuvok and Holly. It looked like a small sharing circle from grade school. Kathryn looked at B'elanna questioningly.

"What? Everyone else had gotten all close. Am I not welcome?" Holly's lips ticked up in her version of a smile again as she reached over and squeezed B'elanna's knee.

"So," Kathryn started. "Is there any good news from home for me?"

Holly's smile dissipated slightly. "Your mother got a dog in honor of you, and named her Voyager."

The captain looked pleased as punch, but was just very happy for a change of subject in her thoughts "Oh, marvelous! What breed?"

"She is a beagle. Your mother also found out the day before I arrived that the dog is now pregnant with four puppies. Your mother plans to name them Hope, Love, Faith, and Wish. She sends her dear love and tells me if you don't return safely, she'll give away your teacup collection." She made it sound like a threat, with an undertone of joking, yet still managed to maintain the air of someone just giving a simple mission report.

Kathryn smiled and her eyes watered. She gracefully wiped them before the tears could spill over.

Meanwhile, on the bridge, Chakotay's "Kathryn-senses" were tingling. He wondered if his captain was crying and would have to make sure she was alright later. He had developed a sort of "sixth-sense" for that woman.

Back in Holly's new quarters, Holly grabbed a tissue from the adjacent table and dabbed Kathryn's cheek with it. She mouthed a thank you and took the tissue from Holly, wiping her face with it.

"That's… That's good to hear. I can't wait to see them when we get home. They may be all grown up by then, but… but that's okay. Did…"

She swallowed and took a deep breath, allowing her the capability to speak clearly once again.

"So you saw my mom. I bet she still loves you, eh? Still remember when I brought you home for Christmas the first year?"

Holly's smile disappeared completely now. "Yes. I'm still unsure as to why you did that, though I did enjoy the chance to study ancient Earth customs more closely."

Janeway frowned, her eyebrows coming together. "I did it because it was either take you home with me, or let my friend spend the holidays at the academy. I had to take you home!"

"As educational as the experience was, and as much as I enjoyed your company and appreciated the presents I received, it was still a disaster."

"How was I supposed to know you were allergic to cranberries?"

"I am not _allergic _to anything. If you had paid attention in _Races of the Alpha Quadrant _class, you would have known that certain earth berries contain an enzyme that is dangerous to our neural system. At Christmas dinner, I told you I would like to know what was in the dish you presented me before I tasted it. You told me you had made it yourself and you would be hurt if I didn't try it. Do you recall what happened afterwards, which I did for the sake of trust and friendship?"

Kathryn said nothing and they all turned to look at her. She had gone scarlet in the face. She looked down slightly smiling before speaking up.

"Well, after you swallowed it, you dropped your fork. Then you stood, covering your mouth and ran outside. I ran out after you, only to find you puking in the grass. But I did hold your hair back for you and took you to the hospital when you passed out, not breathing."

"And I spent the next week in a med bay, promising that one day I would become a doctor of medicine and do away with poor hospital treatment."

"And I've apologized to you all my life for that. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"And I've forgiven you. But it does make for an interesting tale, does it not?" B'elanna laughed and Tuvok raised an interested eyebrow.

Janeway just shook her head slowly and laughed. "I suppose it does. Anyways, did you hear from my sister?"

Holly's eyes darkened and her teasing light dissipated. Her words came slower now, more forced. "Yes. I spoke with her. You were there when she married Remy, were you not?"

"Yes, I was there. I was her first bridesmaid, a few months before Voyager left. She looked beautiful! I on the other hand, looked like a puffed up daffodil. Ugh, yellow dresses."

"Indeed. I was there as well, if you recall, as her second bridesmaid, and also looked poor in the yellow dress."

"Nonsense! You looked beautiful. So what's new from her?"

"She and Remy decided to have a child a few years back. She had her first child four years ago," She paused. "A girl, named Katie, after her beloved aunt. But, when I left, she had just lost her second child in a miscarriage. He was to be named 'Chance', for the chance that Voyager will return. When I went to see her, she was so desolate all she could tell me was 'get her home to me.'"

Kathryn frowned, and then smiled, before closing her eyes and leaning her head forward to rest against Holly's leg. Holly ran her hand over Kathryn's hair, comforting her. She gently hushed her quiet sob of both joy and sorrow. Finally, she addressed B'elanna.

"I visited your mother, Bell. She misses you." Holly said softly.

"Yeah, sure," B'elanna scoffed. "She always thought I was an honor-less _p'tak_! And she was never afraid to tell that _to my face_." She enunciated the last words carefully.

Holly put on a face of impatience, like dealing with a small child. "Bell, ten years ago when Voyager was lost, your mother was crushed. She prayed to _Kahless_ that you were still alive. She apologized to your Klingon ancestors for being so dishonorable in her ways of teaching you, explained it was all so you wouldn't grow up to make the same mistakes she had.

Three years later when you were all able to contact star fleet through the alien communications array, your mother wanted to write to you, but couldn't find anything to say that sounded right. I was not considered a family member and was not allowed to write to any of you. When your mother heard that the crew from your Maquis ship had been pardoned and had joined the 'honorable' cause aboard Voyager she wept with joy. Her daughter, whom she had always loved, had finally 'chosen an honorable path', but she couldn't care less. All she cared of was that you were alive and well."

B'elanna smiled a genuine smile. And just said, "I always knew she loved me, she just had a funny way of showing it. And I bet she was happy to see you, Holly."

"She was. But I am no replacement for her daughter."

B'elanna smiled and asked, "Well? What about Tuvok?"

"Attempting to change the subject from you, Bells?" Holly performed a small shrug. "As you wish."

She turned her head more towards Tuvok, without taking it off his shoulder. She was comfortable leaning on him so closely, but not at all in a strange way, more in a completely parent/child way. Holly looked comfortable and Tuvok was as well.

_It's the most human those two have ever looked. _The captain and B'elanna thought at the same time. _It's so weird. _

Holly smiled her small, barely-a-smile smile and said, "Suffice it to say, Tuvok's family is doing well and hopes for his speedy and safe return."

Tuvok nodded, accepting this news and all went quiet. B'elanna and the captain looked expectant. That couldn't possibly be all, so B'elanna spoke up;

"Well? What else?" The captain nodded in agreement.

Holly took a slow breath through her nose. She mumbled some Vulcan words to Tuvok;

_T'nash-veh yeht sa-mekh. Etek dungi stariben t'skann svi'awek tab-mar._

Tuvok looked at her, apparently knowing what she said, and quickly said something back. It sounded like a question;

_Sanu, ra qual ik khart-lanna'du?_

She straightened at what sounded like a question to B'elanna and the captain. Holly looked right at Tuvok and said;

_Katrene qual t'kam dahshauk k'war'ma'khon._

Whatever she had said, she'd said it fiercely. Tuvok nodded and began rubbing his niece's arm with his hand. Janeway and B'elanna were sure it was an act of affection and compassion, until he said to Holly,

"Your arm is cold. Computer, increase the environmental temperature by two degrees."

The captain suppressed her curiosity about what Holly had said for the moment, knowing if they wanted to, they would tell her later. She gave B'elanna a look, conveying to also suppress her curiosity. B'elanna nodded infinitesimally, acknowledging the captain's order.

Holly's eyelids were flagging, even though she was diligent in maintaining an alert look about her. They all stayed and caught up on things that had happened on Earth while they were gone. But, eventually, Tuvok noticed Holly's exhaustion, and decided to act. She would not heal if she was not well rested.

"T'Para, you require rest. You are tired."

"Is that so? I am not tired."

"You are lying."

"I am not lying. And I am not tired. You have no evidence of either."

Tuvok raised one eyebrow, begging to differ.

"My evidence;

Your eyelids appear to be attempting to send an encoded message in the classic 'Morse code', your esophageal track has tightened rhythmically in accordance with suppressing a yawn once, on average, every 48 seconds. Also, there are dark circles underneath your eyes that you have hidden poorly with a powdery substance."

"That is untrue."

Tuvok frowned at her, incredulously. He held her face still with his left hand and raised his right hand up towards her face. She stayed still as he wiped under her eye with his thumb. The captain noticed how odd it was that Holly had light, cream-colored skin and Tuvok had dark mocha chocolate skin. It was easy to make the comparison when their skin was right up next to each other.

She wondered how they could be related. Then she remembered that on Vulcan, with all of the arranged marriages and mixed genetics, it was almost common for a cream-colored-skin couple to have a dark-skinned child. Both Tuvok and his wife and all of his children were dark-skinned, but T'Pel's sister and Holly were both light-skinned, because T'Pel's parents, Holly's grandparents, were one light-skinned and one dark-skinned.

So, after he wiped under her other eye, one could easily see, even in the low light, under her eyes were a deep purple. The captain gasped and scolded Holly. B'elanna cleared her throat to speak.

"I'm going to make it my personal goal to keep you in bed. This is awful, Holly. I won't let you do this to yourself."

Tuvok and the captain nodded in agreement.

Tuvok wiped the chalky substance off of his thumb onto a tissue. "You require more rest, Holly."

Holly frowned, out of arguments, exposed she and crossed and un-crossed her arms. B'elanna laughed out loud.

"Is there something amusing?" Holly asked, polite and emotionally showing nothing.

B'elanna took on a deep bass voice, obviously imitating Tuvok. "Holly, it is time for bed." She switched to a higher falsetto. "But, Dad! I don't want to go to bed! I'm not even tired!" Back to the bass, "You most certainly are tired young lady! Now bed!"

The captain and B'elanna began to laugh wildly as they realized how accurate the old human ritual was with these two. Tuvok and Holly looked at each other and both slowly raised a slanted Vulcan eyebrow. The parent arguing with the child about bed was a classic routine, it shocked the captain how well Holly and Tuvok played this role.

She'd never known before how they related to one another, she knew they were acquainted, but not like this. She thought about this as Tuvok began lecturing Holly on the importance of rest and a healthy schedule. Kathryn thought of how she and Tuvok were friends. He was still a very private man, but on the occasional instances that they had spoken of friends and family, he had only mentioned Holly once or twice, and usually only in passing.

The captain thought of how, after she'd left the academy, she and Holly talked twice a week, caught up, chatted, and helped each other work out problems. And when they were too far to call, they would write letters or send recordings and pictures. When Janeway had reached the rank of commander, right before Holly was assigned to Vulcan, Janeway told her there was a certain image to conform to as the second in command. She couldn't receive but one letter a week anymore. She didn't know why she had told Holly this, perhaps at the moment the command had gone to her head, but Holly had said she understood completely. Whether she really had or not, Janeway was never really sure.

Then when she had made captain, her pride had swelled once more and she'd told Holly that they'd have to cut back to once a month now. Holly had accepted graciously, once again claiming understanding. The captain wondered if she had felt like she was being pushed away. Janeway felt awful suddenly. Did she succeed in unintentionally pushing her friend away? Was this why she had never talked much about her family? Her other friends? Was it perhaps _not_ her imagination when she had thought she noticed Holly's letters had become less and less personal? Did Holly still consider her one of her best friends? Or had Janeway thrown it all out the airlock?

If she had, she would have to fix this all, somehow. She would not push _another_ loved one away for the sake of her command. She would mend it all, one way or another.

Suddenly, the captain snapped out of her reverie, pushing her thoughts to the back of her mind for later. B'elanna had given her a little nudge, getting her back to reality. She discretely patted B'elanna's knee, thanking her for waking her from her thoughts. Tuvok had taken a stern look with Holly and it appeared to the captain that she didn't miss much. B'elanna and Janeway smiled at how parental he looked.

Tuvok stood and told the captain, "I believe Holly is in dire need of food and rest. I will see to it. You should both go, you may visit with her when she is healthier."

He swept her into her arms again and B'elanna and the captain were sure that if she had the strength, she would be fighting. He took her to her bed effortlessly, and drew the covers back and placed her in.

Her face remained neutral. "_Sa-mekh, _you are being both ridiculous and rude."

The captain and B'elanna looked at each other, both wondering what _sa-mekh _could possibly mean. Maybe it was mean, fool or joker perhaps? Or perhaps it meant an endearing word like friend or teacher? They had no clue…

He frowned. "And neither of those will stop me from ensuring your recovery is as quick as possible. I will not have my _ko-fu_ forcing herself to stay awake for the sake of stubbornness."

Now they wondered what "_ko-fu"_ could possibly mean.

Holly sighed in wary defeat. He drew the blanket up around her sitting figure. She sighed again, mouth set into a hard line. "Tuvok, I am Vulcan, and therefore not stubborn."

Tuvok turned to give an almost sarcastic look to Holly, then looked at the captain. "I will take the shift for tonight."

The captain understood completely and nodded. Holly did not know that the doctor had asked someone be with her at all times, but through that one sentence, she figured it out. The captain and B'elanna took that chance to leave, sneaking into the hall while Holly and Tuvok continued to argue.

Through the door they heard Holly say "Shift? For watching me? This is highly illogical and inefficient, Tuvok! Surely you won't partake in something so absurd…"

They laughed quietly at their friend's antics and said good night, before heading off towards their own quarters. It was already 2200 hours after all…

**Janeway and Chakotay have dinner next! **


	11. Chapter 10

**Happy 2013!**

The next evening, the captain was in her quarters, _attempting _to have dinner with her first officer. They had already begun discussing Holly over the nice salad Chakotay had brought.

"Damn! Come on old friend! Please!" Janeway leaned over, talking to her replicator after it burned the second dish that evening. Chakotay began laughing and came up behind her.

"Let me try. Computer, one roast with vegetables for two." The computer dinged before a beautiful looking roast with veggies appeared. He carried it to the table, smirking. Kathryn just stood there staring.

"How, Chakotay? HOW?" She seemed so flustered.

Chakotay saw an opportunity for a game. He pursed his lips. "You see, Kathy, the ship and I have an agreement."

Kathryn was intrigued and joined him at the table. He began serving them both food. She poured them each some wine before asking about this so-called "agreement".

"Oh, is that so? And how does this pact work exactly?" She leaned towards him and her voice dropped low. "And how do I get in on it?"

"Well, you can't." He stated bluntly.

She straightened. "Really? This I have to hear."

"How it works is, the replicator never works for you, and always works for me."

She scoffed. "Well how does that benefit either of you?"

He smiled wickedly. "We both get to laugh at you behind your back and you get to come running to me so I can use my 'magic replicator abilities' to rescue the coffee-less damsel in distress."

She laughed a harshly with mock-hatred and threw the cork from the wine bottle at him. As it flew towards him, he had another evil idea. He let the cork get him in the face, it glanced off his cheek. He rapidly brought his hand up to his eye and began going "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"

Kathryn leapt from her chair. He turned his own away from the table to the open floor of the living room area, and leaned over a bit, still saying "ow". Kathryn reached over for him, babbling out "Oh my god! I'm so sorry! Are you all right?"

He reached up with both hands and grabbed her sides when she got in front of him. She had assumed it was to hold himself steady. But, suddenly, he launched himself from the chair and tackled her. She shrieked and was laughing as he started tickling at her sides. She tried to speak between gasps and fits of laughter.

"No fair!-" She sucked in air as he tickled her stomach. "Let me up Chakotay!"

He smiled and got off of her, helping her up. She stood and punched him in the arm.

"What was that for, Kathy?"

"Nope," She crossed her arms and looked away, nose turned up as she stalked off towards the table. "You're not allowed to call me that anymore! Now you have to call me captain, like everyone else."

His smile grew. "So sorry. What was that for _captain_?" He walked back to the table.

"Let's see; making a pact with my ship against me, faking an injury, making me feel bad for that fake injury, pinning me to the ground, and making me squeal like a teenage girl." She seemed to think about it for a moment. "Yes, Those are all good to start with."

He sighed. "Let's go back to dinner, that'll make you feel better."

The captain harrumphed and sat with as much dignity as she could muster. Chakotay sat and they both resumed eating. He didn't dare to mention her hair, which had become quite disorderly at this point.

"So, this Holly, she's a good friend of yours _captain_?"

She smiled her Kathryn Janeway signature smile, but it faltered as her pushed away thoughts from earlier flooded back. "Oh, yes, Chakotay, I would like to think so. You heard of all of our time together at the academy, all of the trouble we got into. We're good friends, if I haven't screwed things up too badly. But, I'll fix this if it's the last thing I do."

"Why's that?" Chakotay rarely saw this side of Kathryn, and had already decided he liked this Holly, based on what he gathered at the staff meeting. He would have to meet her in person soon. Surely she would know more about Kathryn than anyone. She could be a very good ally.

The captain looked away slightly before answering. "Well, considering I've almost gotten her killed a few times, let my ego push her away, she's saved my life more than once and kept me from failing the academy, I intend to keep this woman close to me."

Chakotay smiled, happy to see her happy. Kathryn appeared to be contemplating something for a moment, her smile disappeared and she set her fork down.

"Chakotay, I need to get some help from you…"

"Fire away."

"I'm going to be frank, for best-advice purposes. I think I've pushed Holly away for the past fifteen years. We haven't spoken much and I let command go to my head. I can't put any of the blame on her, it was all me. I don't know if she still considers me a friend. I need help…"

She explained how she had pushed Holly away, what was going through her mind, what Holly's outer reactions were. It was very difficult for her.

"I think, if she was that good a friend, if you just talk to her, explain your own stupidity-" She gave him a glare for that word.

"Hey, your description, not mine. You did say 'how stupid could I have been?' As I was saying, explain your own _mistake_, she'll understand and want to mend the friendship, if it was even damaged. But, you need to do this with her. And the sooner the better."

The captain nodded. Chakotay asked if there was anything else she needed to get of her chest. If there was anything else she wanted to tell about Holly.

Janeway remembered the nightmares and Tuvok and...everything else. She knew she wouldn't feel comfortable talking to B'elanna about it, and she certainly couldn't talk to Tuvok.

"Chakotay, I pulled up a disturbing memory yesterday in her quarters. It requires a bit of a story, though. Would you mind being my sounding board for a little while longer?"

He absolutely LOVED being her sounding board. "Sure thing, _captain."_

She leaned back in her chair and sipped her wine. "Back when we shared a room at the academy, I'd begun to notice that Holly talked very softly in her sleep. It didn't bother me much, I could easily sleep through it. On days when her family called or visited, Holly would talk louder in her sleep. Well, only really her father got this unconscious reaction from her. Mind you that it was usually in Vulcan and other random languages that these mumblings would occur. The worst night though, her father, a human, came to our room drunk, and tried to get money out of her and abuse her... in all senses. He hit her right in the doorway. I called campus police immediately and she had to suffer watching him getting dragged away by police.

After he had been taken away. She didn't follow her usual routine for a few weeks, she didn't eat regularly or study or run. She sat and just stared at the wall. When I went and sat by her one evening, she turned away and I realized she was crying. When I tried to touch her, comfort her in any way, she got up and went to take a long hot shower. When she came out, she just went to bed.

She was plagued by the nightmares that night, and almost like a cry of help to me, her screams were in English that night. She cried of abuse, soft 'no, please, don't touch me father' and things like that. I recorded them, thinking I would get her a therapist or a counselor, or at least have him locked up for child abuse.

She began screaming at some point. I shut off the recording and woke her; it was that night we really bonded. She had grabbed me like a lost little girl and cried. I smoothed her hair and comforted her. She told me how she never sought out her father, he always found her. She said if he were to disappear from the face of the Earth and no one told her, she would never know and not care. And she was serious, I could tell.

She told me how she hated staying with her father when she was younger. Her parents had separated when she was 3. He never raped her, or anything awful like that. But he would hit her, and leave marks. She hated how the kids would tease her, for having pointed ears, for anything they could, and he never did anything.

I couldn't send her to the counselor. She would just put up that Vulcan mask of serenity and state there was nothing between her and her father. So, I took the recording to my mentor, and we took it to an admiral.

Long story short, we had his ass locked up forever, though his file reports it's for repeated public indecency. But really its for child abuse and neglect. And she can never _ever_ know."

Chakotay couldn't find the right words to say, so he just shook his head slowly. "So all the studying and becoming a genius was her way of escaping?"

Janeway shrugged. "Or maybe she enjoyed it. I'll never know, she may not even be sure. Anyways, when she finally left the academy and got assigned to Vulcan, she found herself a real father in Tuvok. The best letter I ever got from her was one she had sent anonymously, so if it were ever found, no one would know it was her. It said 'Kathy, I finally found a place where the dreams do not haunt me. I have found a where I feel whole. I love them.'"

Chakotay understood. "I'm happy for her."

Janeway nodded and took a raspy breath. "Well, enough of the heavy. So, you got a letter. News from home?"

He smiled. "My sister is getting married. She wrote me about what I've missed. And scolded me for doing something as stupid as joining the Maquis and ending up in the Delta quadrant."

Janeway smiled. "I'm guessing she's an older sister?"

He laughed, affirming.

They ate peacefully and had dessert after that, discussing less heart-wrenching subjects. Like, who was going to assist Holly in attempting to build another drive? Would it really work? What would they do when they got back to Earth if this did work? And the odd Vulcan conversation Holly and Tuvok had…

They moved to the couch and Chakotay asked, "So, did you ask Tuvok what they had said last night?"

"That would be rude and an invasion of privacy, Chakotay!" She smiled a little. He smiled brighter and repeated his question.

"So, did you ask him?"

She blushed. "Yeah. He avoided the question and told me I could look it up if I wanted."

Chakotay tossed his head back and barked out a laugh. "He must know of your poor lingual skills!"

She thought of how by the time the week was out, she was sure everyone on board would know, if they all didn't already. Gossip and news travelled at warp 9 in this ship.

Chakotay pulled over the small computer that was on the coffee table.

"Fortunately, captain, I passed linguistics with almost no problems. Now, do you remember what she said? And can you try to repeat it in the same sort of lilt that they did? Trust me, in Vulcan it makes all the difference…"

This is where Kathryn's eidetic memory came into play. "Well, it started with Holly mumbling something to Tuvok that was just a statement. Nothing fancy."

"Do you think you could reproduce it for me? One word at a time."

"Umm, first she said _teh-nash._"

He began typing into the computer. "I remember that partially," he said. "That's not the whole thing, though. Was it maybe _teh-nash-lot _or _teh-nash-vey_?"

"Yeah, that second one."

He wrote it down on a padd he had also pulled out.

"So what does it mean, Chakotay?"

"Oh, I think it would make much more sense if we got it all translated before reading it." He smiled and she sighed. She would have to agree to his conditions, he was helping her after all.

"After that she said _yet saw-mehk. _Then she paused like that was the end of a sentence. Then it was _eddikdoongee stare eebin…"_

She went on through everything they had said. It took some memory and a little tweaking, but Chakotay figured it all out. They had gotten it all after an hour.

Chakotay looked down at the translation, reading through it really fast.

"Oh, captain, you're going to cry."

"Nonsense, Chakotay! Now let me read that padd!"

He held it out of her reach as she grabbed for it. "Ah, ah, ah. _I_ will read it to you." He cleared his throat and she sat back, anxious.

"Good girl, Kathy. First, Holly told Tuvok 'my true father.' This is an acknowledgement, as simple as me saying 'captain' in greeting. But it runs deeper than just calling him her 'father'. Oh, and 'ko-fu' means daughter."

The captain nodded, piecing together the puzzle in her own mind.

He went on "She then told him 'we will speak of our family in privacy later.' This just means she wasn't comfy speaking of family in front of you and B'elanna."

The captain was having too much fun; it was like an old Spanish soap opera. "I think it's the other way around, Chakotay. She knows Tuvok is a private man and doesn't like discussing such personal things with others present. Holly knows that."

Chakotay nodded and went on. "The next thing was Tuvok asking a 'relation' question. They ask these to help them assess the familiarity two people have with each other. It literally translates to 'please, what is the captain for you?'"

Her heart stopped. They had talked of her? "And? What did she say back, Chakotay? What did she say about me? This is the part where she got all serious, right? Well, more serious, as a Vulcan."

She was on edge, thinking this might answer her questions about their friendship. She had to hear it. But, would it fix everything? Or just confirm her worst fears? Would she cry? And would it be out of happiness or pain?

Chakotay nodded. "She told him, 'Kathryn is _dahshauk k'war'ma'khon_."

That hadn't helped at all. What was that?

"Which means?" She asked, since those were the key words. It would tell her how far she had destroyed everything…

"You're going to cry, I'm just warning you…" He said it with a serious face.

Her gut clenched. "Just tell me Chakotay. I can handle it."

He nodded and put the padd and computer down. He looked her straight in the eye. "'K'war'ma'khon' is a very special word. It means family, in a special way…"

She was waiting for the part where he told her it meant "distant family" or "family that has pushed itself away".

He continued. "It means 'family that is not of blood'. Made of something stronger, more cared about and cherished in every way."

She had begun to cry, without even realizing it. Tears started rolling down her cheeks. Chakotay put his hand on the side of her face, wiping the tears away with his thumb.

"The part that worries me, Kathy, is this word." He pointed on the padd on the coffee table. "The word 'dahshauk'. It's another special word, from an old Vulcan saying. It used to be a hunting word. It meant an animal that peeled off from the pack, separated, and left itself vulnerable. Now days, it means a loved one that has isolated themselves for an unknown reason. They still have the chance to rejoin the herd, but have already caused damage."

She was crying out of pain and happiness now. She leaned on his shoulder. He pulled her onto him as he lay back against the couch, his arms encircling her.

"What should I do?" She sobbed into his shoulder.

"I learned the saying as a child. The way I see it, you have caused damage, that will leave a wicked scar, but you can still save this friendship." He paused thinking of more to say that would emphasize the seriousness of the situation."You have separated yourself, you are still wanted and loved, but you have work to do if you want to earn her trust back. Trust that you won't hurt her again."

She nodded. "You're right, Chakotay. You always are." She sighed as her sobbing slowed and her breathing eased. Chakotay's "Kathryn-senses" told him she still needed comforting. So, he began stroking her hair while quietly singing an old native Indian song. He kept at it and she snuggled closer to him. At the end of the song, he carefully looked down and found his precious Kathy fast asleep. He lifted the lightweight woman into his muscular arms and took her to her bed. She was dead to the world, couldn't feel a thing, except a warm fuzzy feeling of security.

He pulled down the covers and laid her down. She had worn a beautiful, flowing, red dress and a purple crystal necklace that evening. When he'd asked, she had told him that they were just crystals from Risa that Holly gave her. She hadn't said when, but he guessed recently, she had never worn them before.

He pulled the crystals carefully over her head and watched as they turned a bright white when they left Kathryn's clothing. He was intrigued and touched them. They turned a vibrant red. He wondered….

He set them in Kathy's open palm and touched them at the same time. He almost gasped as it turned lilac on one side and crimson on the other. The two began swirling and mixed, making the most beautiful purple-ish color he had ever seen. He quenched his curiosity and set them down on the bedside table, trying to focus on cleaning up and tucking his captain in.

He pulled the dress off of her, carefully, and hung it in her closet. He tried not to pay too much attention to the fact that she was now in just a silk black bra and underpants as he tucked her in. She rolled over as soon he pulled the covers up. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. Her hand seemed to unconsciously move to his face, almost as if she was partially awake. He put his hand over hers and tugged it off his face before placing it at her side. She smiled in her sleep.

He cleaned up and left, happy. He still had work to do before his night was over, though…

**Please review! It gets things done...**


	12. Chapter 11

**Extra long chapter for ya! WhoopWhoop!**

"Whoo! Rough night, eh Vorik?" B'elanna asked the stoic man as they walked out of engineering.

"Indeed."

"And it's _almost_ over."

"Almost, Lieutenant?" The day had been long and stressful. Constant working on this runabout, the _Atlantis_, had taken its toll on the both of them. He hoped there would be no "almost". He simply wished to return to his quarters and meditate. Lately, within the last week, he had not been sleeping. He had been only able to reach a restless state where he would have… intense dreams. Intense… emotional…wonderous…

He shook himself from those thoughts and followed his chief engineer.

B'elanna had been so cheery the whole time they had been working on this. The whole ship had been buzzing with news of this new woman on board. He had not even seen her. He did not enjoy being out of the loop. He did not take pleasure in the unknown, in mysteries. B'elanna had filled him in some, blabbing on about how she and this woman were "best friends". He had listened politely, but only truly committing details that he deemed pertinent to memory.

She replied to his question, finally. "Yes, almost. We need to go to the mess and meet with Chakotay. He has the list of people that will be working on the new drive and asked that we go there to hear him read it and talk about scheduling and stuff. We're probably on the list for working on this thing, just letting you know."

He nodded. It would be interesting to work a revolutionary trans-space drive. They walked to the mess, B'elanna going on about this woman Holly the entire way.

_She must be a very emotional, intense, and impulsive woman to be such good friends with B'elanna… And Wildman... And the captain. _Vorik thought.

When they got just around the corner, B'elanna stopped.

"Is something wrong, Lieutenant?" He asked politely.

"Yeah, I forgot my padd. I'll go back and get it and meet you in the mess hall." She could be so forgetful at times, especially after low levels of REM sleep, he noticed. He nodded and she turned around and headed back. He trekked on.

Entering the mess, the lights were lower than usual, though he could still see just fine. He saw someone talking with the commander at the corner table. He moved close and what Vorik saw made him stop. Just stop. Stop walking, stop thinking, stop breathing…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

An hour earlier.

Holly's POV

I was lying on my bed, my eyes closed, pretending to sleep. I was actually meditating on the situation at hand; I found doing so helped to clear my mind. I was in a simple nightgown Samantha had put on me. It was late and I was waiting. And waiting. Forever… Finally! Poor Samantha fell into a deep slumber on my couch. I could hear her snoring and mumbling. She had taken the night's shift of "babysitting Holly". How preposterous, I needed no babysitter.

As soon as I heard her snoring, I silently rolled out of my bed. The room was luxurious, but I had grown weary of being cooped up, I had become claustrophobic here. I sought escape! I stealthily crept to my closet, where dear Samantha had unpacked and put away my clothing rescued from the _Atlantis_. I quickly changed into some more normal clothes and headed towards the conduit panel in my room. I heard Samantha roll over and felt bad.

I walked out to where she was and silently lifted her off the couch and into my arms. I placed her in my bed and tucked her in. She was not a heavy sleeper, but she was very tired, and I was very quiet. My Vulcan strength allowed me to pick her up as if she weighed no more than a pillow.

I sent a short message to Naomi, entailing why her mother was not there and where she was, then ducked into the vent.

My destination was the mess hall. It would be a nice, quiet, and dark place for my still-sensitive eyes. I was wearing a long pair of skin-tight jeans with black boots that had a small heel. I also wore a strapless black tank top that supported my breasts without a bra quite nicely. I had found it was still too cold for the new skin on my arms, so I put on removable black and white striped long-sleeves. So, my shoulders were bare, but my arms were warm.

I had considered roaming the ship before hand, perhaps visiting the holo-deck or sickbay. But I figured I would run into Tuvok or someone else out to stop me. So, I took a Jeffries tube to the mess. I wanted to stay in the tubes at first, it was so warm, but it was too tight for comfort, especially when you're 183 centimeters in height. That's six feet tall for you early 21st century people. When I had crawled out of the tube, my ribs in protest, an odd looking man greeted me.

"Well hi there! Interesting entrance… You do know we have a door, right?"

I hadn't expected anyone to still be there at that hour, but was wrong. Without allowing me to answer, he continued. "Doesn't matter, welcome to the mess! You must be Ms. T'Para! I've heard a lot about you, um, even though it's all just rumor." He helped me up and took me to a table, sitting me down. I let a small poof of air out as I sat, my ribs still twanging.

"Thank you. Good evening to you as well, mister….?"

"Oh, no 'Misters' here! Unless you're Tuvok, he always calls me Mister. Please, just call me Neelix." Though I was already sure his excited nature would eventually get under my skin, I was also already confident that I would enjoy his company and conversation.

"Thank you. Good evening, Neelix. May I correctly assume I have made it to the mess hall?"

He sighed. "Oh, dear. It's another Vulcan with their extremely logical jibber-jabber! No offense, of course."

I gave him the tiniest of smiles. He was… polite and entertaining at the same time.

He gasped. "Sooooo! You can't be completely Vulcan! I saw that little smile! Beautiful! Don't worry, I won't tell anyone!" He smiled brightly and talked much too loudly. I found I didn't care. "Well, once again, welcome strange guest! I'm afraid I just closed the kitchen, but can I replicate you something?"

I had forgotten about that, the gnawing pain in my stomach. I cleared my throat and glanced to the side. "I'm afraid my replicator rations are restricted to the one in my room for now, as an attempt to keep me from escaping…" I ended in a typical Vulcan neutral expression. It was what looked like a frown to humans, my hands coming together gracefully on top of the table.

"So they have you under lock and key, do they? I'd expect as much with the beating you took, but I'm sure is gets stuffy in that room, all alone." He didn't know the half of it. "But, that's all right! I'm almost always happy to hide refugees." He winked. "I'll get you something from my rations; they're unlimited as ship's chef." How kind of him! I nodded.

"That would be very nice, Neelix. Thank you. What would you suggest?"

"Well, I just put in a recipe for Andorian Fudge Cake. Should we try it? Perhaps with some milk?"

Every fiber of my Vulcan half fought against this whole situation; the smile, the accepting his offer, the cake, especially the chocolate. To Vulcans, chocolate has a very potent…_ahem_…alcohol-like effect. It would be like drinking forty straight ounces of vodka for a human, except, it is also an aphrodisiac for Vulcan males. A _strong_ aphrodisiac. My mixed heritage allowed me to easily consume large quantities of both chocolate and alcohol without too much of a response, thankfully. But that didn't mean that my body didn't still reject the idea of eating chocolate. I loved chocolate, though it's nutritionally lacking. And the occasional glass of wine was nice. So, I ignored all the warning bells.

"Vulcans do not eat sweets. Nor do they consume dairy, being an animal product."

Neelix put an apologetic look on his face.

"I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking at all-" I interrupted him.

"However, I am only half-Vulcan and have chosen not to follow that tradition in life. Chocolate is irresistible. And I do enjoy dairy products, though I am vegetarian."

He smiled wider and replicated us some cake and milk. "Worry not, Andorian cake has no meat in it. I can't say the same for Klingon cake, though…"

We ate and talked, and the cake was divine. He told me of Talax and his family. I told him of things that had happened in the Alpha quadrant during their absence and of the drive, but not about the crystals.

We talked about how I knew B'elanna and Tuvok and Samantha and the captain. He told stories of things that had happened on this lost vessel. He ended a story and was laughing. I smiled and clapped lightly, sarcastically.

"How _ingenious _of the doctor." I said with a small smile. The word was dripping with sarcasm.

How strange. Usually, when people met me, with the way I was, they assumed I was completely Vulcan. And I never corrected them, unless asked directly. I usually never smiled or used sarcasm, unless I was completely at ease. This man, this "Neelix", made me open up so easily. It was odd, very odd.

"Yes, yes!" He chuckled once more before starting a new topic. "So, tell me, what do you like to do?"

I gave him my best Vulcan eyebrow raise.

"Interesting change in subject, Neelix. And that is too difficult a question to answer. Make this easier on yourself, ask yes or no questions. I'm stubborn."

Had I just said that aloud? I never told anyone how stubborn I was! I was simply stubborn about talking about myself… Perhaps I was running a fever, yeah that's it. Well, point is I wasn't open like that with anyone so quickly before, except him.

He smiled. "Well, okay then! That's Vulcan enough! Stubbornness! Honestly, Holly, I'm just glad you've conversed this much! I was expecting that hard Vulcan exterior. I hate that, I like to get to know people personally. It's nice to have a logical friend now."

I blushed a light pink.

"So iron, not copper based blood, eh? A dead giveaway to your mixed heritage." I nodded, upset with my body for blushing on its own accord.

"And now I have to play twenty questions with you? Ah, fine. So where do you prefer to live of all the planets?"

"Vulcan…and Earth."

His head tilted to the side slightly. "Why?"

"As beautiful as Earth is, and as much as I enjoy the beautiful landscapes and people, it is often much too cold for my blood. And, try as I may, I am not human enough to be accepted by people. I am always treated as a Vulcan, not as just me. People assume I would be a bad companion and avoid being friendly."

He frowned and knitted his brows together. "And what's the down side of Vulcan?"

"Vulcan men have no interest in friendships usually, they're only interested in me as a potential mate. Human men tend to court and date, which is much more pleasant. In my experience, Vulcan men become 'friends' with you, and then ask you to marry them rather quickly. And when other Vulcans discover I'm not a pureblood, they suddenly act superior, above me. Summarizing, I love both planets, but fit in on neither."

Neelix smiled his trademark smile. "Well, I'm sure you'll fit right in here on Voyager!" And who knew? Maybe I would…

"Perhaps." It was all I could say. Kindness was not usually something I received in those days, so I was at a loss for words.

"Well, what's your favorite color?"

The change in topic caught me off guard.

"Blue." I said without really thinking about it. He smiled, confused.

"What kind of blue?"

I was still thinking about how I might finally find a home on Voyager, I doubted it, but the point is I wasn't paying attention to the whole color thing.

"This kind of blue." I pulled my crystals out of my pocket and dropped the necklace over my head, not allowing it to tangle in my short brown hair. As it hit my chest, it turned blue. Oh, you'd thought I'd forgotten about them in my room, hadn't you? I had not.

He did not react as the others had. "Oh that's beautiful. I'm guessing you're the one who brought the captain hers too, right? I saw her wearing hers at lunch today."

I nodded. "Yes, I brought them from Risa."

"Well they're beautiful. So, next questions are about food. So, you're half-Vulcan, but not vegan?" I removed myself from my reverie and came back to the conversation.

"I am vegetarian. I do not consume meat, but I do eat dairy. And I have learned many ways of preparing meat for others, having human family and friends."

"Good to know. Do you cook?"

"I do." I loved to cook, still do.

"What do you cook?"

I smiled slightly. "Food, and only the edible kind. Ipso facto, not many Klingon dishes." Who ever said Vulcans had no sense of humor?

He laughed. "Well, whatever you cook, if you ever feel like cooking, come visit me in the kitchen and you can show me how to make something."

"That would be most agreeable."

"Out of curiosity, do you know how to make 'pizza'?"

I was shocked. "Yes, actually I do. Many of my compatriots on past assignments would complain how it is not available in the replicator due to low nutritional value, so I learned how to create it for them."

"Wonderful! I have a Lieutenant who has been dying for it, for ten years now!"

"I will teach you how to prepare it sometime."

"Thanks. So, on to more personal questions. You don't have to answer any of them if you don't want to." I nodded, letting him proceed.

"Are you married?"

"I was engaged at age seven, as most Vulcan children are, but chose to sever the link when I was nine, not wanting to be bonded to one I had only met once, and having no time for romance."

"Because you were going to the academy?"

I jumped to the only possible conclusion. "I see the captain has debriefed you on me."

He just smiled and said nothing.

"Yes, that was the reason." I dropped it there.

He picked it right back up. "Do you have any pets?"

"My goldfish is currently staying on Vulcan with Tuvok's family. Asil is caring for him while I am away."

"Asil, that's Tuvok's daughter, right?"

"Correct."

"So does it have a name?"

I smiled slightly again. "He is called Kin-Kur."

"'Sounds Vulcan. What's it mean?"

"Of golden color. It is a small joke."

"That's funny!"

I didn't say anything, only smiling slightly. He kept going.

"I like you, Holly. As far as I'm concerned, you can escape to my mess hall anytime, I'll hide you."

"Thank you, Neelix. That is extremely gracious of you."

The door to the mess hall opened then. Neelix stood and walked towards the door, looking over his shoulder once to mouth "hide". I ducked under the table, out of sight. I saw Neelix walk over to the man I was able to identify as Commander Chakotay from the pips on his collar. I started getting strange mental vibes from him. Keep in mind it was very late at night and the room was on 20% lighting, so it wasn't as if he would see me. I steadied myself and listened to their conversation.

"Oh, Commander! I almost forgot you were coming to give out the new assignments from the captain!"

The man smiled. "That's not like you, Neelix. What's got you so occupied?"

Neelix began a lie for me. "Oh, I was reading a fascinating new recipe and preparing a substitute for the vegetables that are unavailable to me and preparing things for tomorrow-"

I stepped out from under the table, gracefully. I didn't want anyone to have to lie for me. And I was intrigued by the odd mental waves that were rolling off this man. "Its alright Neelix. I would have been caught soon enough. But the time I spent was pleasant, so thank you." I began to leave, as I was sure Chakotay would want me confined to quarters.

Chakotay waved me back into my seat. I gave him a raised eyebrow. He walked over and sat down across from me. Strange.

"Hello. I'm Commander Chakotay. You must be Lieutenant Holly. Or is it T'Para?"

"Either is acceptable, as I can answer to both…" I paused. "You're not going to send me back to my quarters, sir?"

"Not just yet, I know what its like to be sick and confined. Its so… restraining."

"Then, may I presume you will be informing the captain of my… escape?"

He smiled devilishly. I could feel the vibes full force then and began to understand them just a little better. He didn't seem to notice his change. "Only if she asks me directly. I see no reason to rat you out just yet. For now, your secret is safe with me."

"In that case, how may I help you? Or perhaps I should get out of your way? I understand you have a meeting coming up."

"Oh, I'm a bit early for that. Besides, there hasn't been a new face on this ship in about a decade. It'd be nice to get to know you more. You're probably going to be working closely with all of the bridge crew and senior officers onboard while you're here." He turned to Neelix. "Any chance I can get some tea, Neelix?"

Neelix smiled and went to make some.

We spent a long time discussing who I would most likely be assigned to work with. He told me how ship operations usually went and regaled me with interesting tales of the Delta quadrant. I caught him up on Earth events and we discussed recreational activities.

"Personally, I think we should host our own Olympics in the holodeck. Since the two species on board are Vulcan and human, except Mr. Neelix of course, we'd have two separate competitions."

"How many Vulcans are there onboard?"

"Well, 2 and you. So… 3?"

"I do possess the strength of the average Vulcan, so I may be counted as one in that regard. I think it would be fascinating to participate in this event."

"Great! So, it would be you and Vorik, the ensign that will be working with you and B'elanna."

"What of Tuvok?"

"I asked him and he called the whole thing 'illogical'. I can't sway him."

"Ah, but I can."

He gave me a puzzling look and I went on. "I am his niece, and though that would usually mean nothing, it means that I am a master at his 'weak points', if you will. If you would like, and are truly planning on going through with this endeavor, I will convince him to participate…graciously."

"You…You can really do that?" He sounded a little unbelieving.

"Yes, sir." I answered with a modest little nod.

"Well that would be wonderful, Lieutenant. Oh, and please, when we're off duty, call me Chakotay."

I smiled _very _slightly. "Allow me to return the courtesy. Holly or T'Para, please, whichever is easier."

Things went smoothly from there and we actually started coordinating the event. I told him that, when I finally did returned to duty, I would take some time to upload into the ship's computer the mass amount of recent movies, books, holo-novels and programs I had brought. I told him about an archery adventure I thought he might enjoy.

Finally, he broached a subject that made me uncomfortable and sent waves of those odd vibes rolling off of him. He had begun to speak of Kathryn.

"I understand the captain has something she needs to speak to you about."

I gave him the Vulcan eyebrow.

"She is having…You see she… It's really none of my business. Suffice it to say you two should converse."

I looked away. I had little desire to be alone in a room with Kathryn. She...She…Never mind. He sighed.

"Look T'Para, there's a lot going on really quickly here. You're already becoming very important on this ship. We never had a linguist before, and you have no idea how bad we've needed one. We've never had another doctor or astrophysicist. And, most impressively, you're building the thing that could potentially get us home. You're about to become the most popular and busiest person on the ship." He straightened. "And because of that, you can't afford to be out of sorts with the ship's captain. I'll make this an order if I have to."

My head snapped back to meet his gaze. He must've seen the flash of anger in my eyes, because in his I saw a glimmer of fear… and fascination. But, he didn't back down.

"That look you gave me just made up my mind. You two will meet in the holodeck next week. I'll arrange it and you will attend it. That's an order "

I nodded. Sometimes I truly hated authority figures. This was _almost_ one of those instances.

"I didn't mean to upset you T'Para. Let's move past it, alright?"

My face had never left Vulcan serenity mode. "I do not get 'upset', Chakotay. I will attend this meeting."

"Good. Now…um…Can I ask you about Kathryn?"

Another Vulcan eyebrow to him.

He waved his hand. As if what he was asking was no big deal. "I'd just like to know some of the more personal things about her. You know, things that would be useful. Her likes and dislikes, that sort of thing. I hear you two go way back."

I pursed my lips slightly. "She is infatuated with coffee."

He smiled largely and sipped his tea, muttering something to the effect of "that's an understatement."

I continued. "Her favorite color is purple. She finds 'puppy-dogs' adorable. She does not enjoy cooking and appreciates friends who can. She 'simply dies' for dark chocolate truffles."

"That last one I knew. The replicator doesn't know how to make them, though."

Neelix seemed to pop out of nowhere. "Well, maybe Holly can show you how to whip some up! My kitchen's always welcome to you two!"

Neelix's silent arrival shocked Chakotay enough that he spilled the remainder of his tea. Neelix sighed and started cleaning it up. Chakotay turned to him.

"Don't you sigh at me! You're the one who tried to give me a heart attack! You get to clean it up!" Neelix smiled and wiped it all up, taking away the mug.

"I am capable of making dark chocolate truffles…" I said softly.

He turned back to me. "Really?"

I nodded. "I'll instruct you. Perhaps on the same day I instruct Neelix on how to construct pizza."

"Right, for Tom."

"I am…unfamiliar with 'Tom'…"

"Ah, he's Lieutenant Paris. He's married to B'elanna."

I nodded, understanding now. B'elanna had been wearing a ring on her left hand and I didn't have the opportunity to ask why.

"So, though you think you've avoided the subject successfully, I have to ask what's going on between you and Kathryn?"

"The captain?"

"Yes, Kathryn." He corrected, rather snootily.

I sighed and looked away slightly. "I have experienced so much with her. We shared almost shared detention cells at the academy several times. We do indeed go way back. I was the one who got her 'addicted' to dark chocolate truffles when I made them for her birthday one year. She once told me after we graduated that she had been searching for ones just as delicious ever since. I have witnessed and experienced Kathryn tearing herself from friends, family, potential love, all for the sake of her _precious _command. I believe she has allowed herself to swell with pride on many an occasion. At times she does the wrong thing with the thought that it is the noble thing to do. That is her mindset. But, no more of this, I imagine it's depressing to you." I turned back to him.

He sighed. He was actually making progress, getting information from this woman for his captain. He liked this T'Para well enough, but his loyalty still lay with Kathryn.

**Please review if you liked! Please review if you didn't! Leave suggestions please, even if you're anonymous!**


	13. A note

**This is all an Author's note, so if you don't want to hear it, please just go to the next chapter, if i've posted it yet.**

**Also, after talking it over with friends, i've been told it would be most responsible if I warned y'all that this is a depressing note, though an informative one. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED**

Some of you know that I have been sick lately. Some of you actually care! And that's very kind of you, I appreciate it.

I could write a story about my current state of affairs, hell I could write a whole book.

Let's make this quick and painless;

I have been in and out of the hospital for months now with pains and random coughing up blood.

They finally figured out what's going on. Finally.

I have Pancreatic cancer! Yay me!

Details are messy, so I won't go into them.

I will be out more, posting less, hospitalized more, again posting less. Mostly traveling to other countries to see friends and family again for what may be the last time. (Yay! Airplanes and boat rides and foreign foods and stuff! Goody! :D)

Support is not necessary, but always appreciated.

Also, some of you out there, people who already have been informed, have really nasty attitudes. You say I am a fake or that I have a poor attitude.

I tend to make light of my little issue and shortened life-expectency, and even crack jokes about it.

Many of you say that is wrong, immoral. You tell me that means I'm not taking it seriously.

Well, you're wrong. It's just how I deal with the pain, so get used to it.

Also, **THIS IS NECESSARY, DON'T YELL AT ME FOR THIS!**

What happens if I die, you may ask.  
...If, and only if, I do happen to die anytime in the next couple of units of time, you will be notified. My friend, who has agreed to do this for me only after vehement protest, will be the notifier and it will be posted on all stories. Please don't "hate" on her, as she says. Another friend, who is really good at writing and very familiar with my stories will finish them for me, hopefully. I haven't asked her, and I don't think I will, but I will leave it in my will.

That was a lot of "will"s. Hey! Maybe I'll see Will! You know, if he gets to reap my... Yeah, I'm sure you got it.

Anywho, sad stuff over. Nice chatting with you guys. Have a nice day or whatever.

Smiles and Hugs,

_T'Para Lankana_


	14. Chapter 13

**Contrary to popular belief, I'm not dead! Not yet anyways... Have a chapter! Sorry for the tremendous wait!**

I headed back to the house, one shinigami glove and, more impressive, one shinigami death scythe in hand. Finny was cleaning up the trees that had been burned, knocked over, or destroyed. May-Rin and Bard were putting away the guns when she spotted me heading back towards the house. She said something to Bard then rushed to me.

In a low tone she asked, "Do you need to yell at me now for giving you a gun with only one bullet?"

I kept my voice low as I noticed Sebastian watching us from above as he quickly replaced the window that had been blown out on the second floor. "No, dear. Because he was too daft to dodge it and I _actually hit him._"

May-Rin, smiled, seemingly relieved that she didn't have to be yelled at. "Okay then. Lemme know when ya wanna start dinner, alright?"

I smiled and nodded. She rushed back towards Bard. He made some joke I couldn't hear but I could see her blush. Ah, the joys of young love. I headed inside and noticed the chandelier in the great room had fallen in the commotion…Or else Sebastian was testing me. So I made sure no one was watching, and drew the water from a potted plant in the corner. I compressed it, getting it boiling hot, but keeping it liquid, in a plasma state. I then manipulated it quickly to melt and fix the twisted metal and glass into a new, more ornamental chandelier.

But how would I get it back up in the ceiling? She-demons didn't have the strength of male-demons, that's why we had our charms and protection spells…Hmmmm…

I stuck my head out the door and whistled for Pluto, who had already fallen in love with me. He came bounding out of the woods with Finny on his back, trying desperately to hold on. When Pluto got near, I commanded him to "sit". He plopped his big butt down immediately and made a submissive yip sound. I smiled and tossed him a dog treat I had grabbed earlier as Finny climbed down.

"Did ya need something? 'Cause ya coulda just called for me, you know."

I smiled seductively and made my voice low and sultry. "What would be the fun in that?"

He looked away and blushed. I took the opportunity to ask for his help. "I need you to help me get this chandelier back in place. I can heat the base plate in the ceiling so they'll fuse again, but the problem is getting the damned thing up there."

Finny smiled. "Ooh! I know! You could hold it and I could throw you up there!"

I thought it over for a second before kissing him on the cheek. "Brilliant, Finnegan." Then I noticed Pluto, in human form, naked, sitting in the open doorway, begging to come in. I saw he was filthy.

First I ordered Pluto. "No, stay!" He whined and lied down. Then I turned to Finny. "You get to give him a bath when we're done here. If he gives you any trouble, just tell him I said I'd give him a treat afterwards. He'll understand that much. Let's get to it then!"

In no time Finny had his ands on my hips, the chandelier in my hands, ready to throw me to the ceiling. I had the metal base plate boiling and ready to be fused. "Now Finny." He yipped a cheery "Okay!" and threw me up there. I quickly reattached the chandelier and began to fall back to Earth. Finny caught me in his arms, just as planned. But I could sense Sebastian watching from the stairs, just out of sight from us, trying to be sneaky. I decided to let him get away with it, but not without a small fee.

I kissed Finny right on the lips in thanks and he blushed a deep scarlet. I giggled both that and the fact that I heard Sebastian whisk away from his hiding spot back to Ototo, probably to tattle. Finny set me down and mumbled a "your welcome", still shocked by my kiss, and headed out to wash Pluto. I grabbed the scythe and glove and headed to the young master.

I walked smoothly up the grand staircase and towards the master's study. As I entered, Sebastian was not there, and Ototo smiled. I laid down the scythe and Grell's glove on his ornate desk. He stared at them blankly for a moment before speaking.

"Is..Is that shinigami's death scythe?"

I bowed my head. "Yes, master."

His smile spread as he picked up the glove. "Is…Is this Grell Sutcliffe's glove?"

"Yes, master."

He threw his head back and began to laugh so loudly that it brought warmth to my cold, unbeating heart. Sebastian burst into the room, obviously concerned with Ototo's raucous laughing.

The young master didn't seem to care as he choked out some words, still laughing and wiping away tears now. "That…Haha…Is the most impressive thing ever! Sebastian?...Hehe…Do you see this? She got Grell's glove!"

With the last words escaping, he fell into another fit of laughter. But Sebastian wasn't watching Ototo, he was staring at me, and for a moment I saw passion burning in his eyes. All I could think of is how he was such a man whore. I stared right back, defiant. His passion was quickly replaced with a look of composure.

The rest of the day was smooth by comparison.

**Well, how did I do from my foggy, drug-induced state?**


End file.
